


The Last Time

by Tytue



Category: Bayverse - Fandom, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)
Genre: AU, F/F, F/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-07-14 10:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7167815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tytue/pseuds/Tytue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captured as a little girl Iris has been enslaved, tortured, and experimented on the attempt to make the perfect soldier. Tired of living at the whims of others she escapes, determined to forge a life all her own. </p>
<p>Different POVs. Rating subject to change with upcoming chapters.<br/>Or</p>
<p>Yet another AU, no one asked for.<br/>Set after Out of the Shadows</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Doctor

 

“I have tarrrget in sight.” Iris said into her earpiece as she lined up the shot. Below her crowds of people watched, seated in front of a large dais as Dr. Lukin , Russian scientist and honored guest gave his speech on the newest contributions to the TCRI  institute. Surrounding him protectively were ten suited bodyguards, ready to attack at a moment's notice. 

Iris glanced to her left and right, in the buildings, set firmly in the windows were the figures of protective snipers, who just like the bodyguards were armed and ready to protect the scientist at all cost. 

“ You never answered my question,” Locus chatted in her earpiece. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. 

“ Vat question is that?” She asked. 

Locus sighed, “ Shawarma. Would you like to go out for shawarma?” 

“ This is the wrap, yes?” 

“ Yes. I know a nice place downtown, we can go, of course when all this is ove-” 

“ I going to take shot,” Iris confirmed, patience wearing thin,  finger slightly pulling the trigger, ready for the confirmation, the proverbial cry to battle. Once she pulled the trigger, and took the shot, everything would change. She would change. His death would marked the coming of a new age. She smiled at the thought of it. 

“ What? No,” Locus barked. “ Not yet. Her finger loosened on the trigger.  He’s not in position yet. He has to be---” 

She licked her top lip, which was quivering from impatience. “ Vait Locus says, patience Locus  says.” She grumbled, her Russian accent thick, as the English words slid off her tongue like sandpaper. Later she would study her English some more. It was necessary, if she was to live in this country. The land of the free, home of of the brave. 

_ After zis shot, I vill be frrree. After zis shot, everrrything vill change,  _ she thought as she slowly, shallowly let out another breath, careful not to disturb the position of the rifle. 

The people began to clap, the speech was ending, and his was saying his final words, giving his final acknowledgements. 

“ Almost there,” Locus acknowledged. Ten seconds.” 

“ Adin...dva... tri... chetyre,” Iris counted, her finger slowly hardening on the trigger with each second past. “ Vosem...deviat... desi--” 

“ Go.”

She shot, her finger pressing heavily on the trigger, the recoil of the rifle little more than a nudge against her firm frame. Gasps arose from below, and immediately everyone present looked up. Among the peering faces, face frozen with fear, was the Doctor. Very much alive. Beside him, dead, one of the body guards lay, his head partially blown off. 

“ Hooyovi ,” she hissed between her teeth, readying her gun once again. “ Vill not happen again.” She cursed herself for her naiveness, she should have known they would be prepared, that it would not be as easy as a simple shot. 

“ Shit. Shit. Shit,” Locus cursed in her ear. “ Retreat Iris. Your cover has been blown.” 

She shook her head, but did not respond. To retreat now would be to prolong her freedom. She could not. Would not let that happen. The man would die, as did the one before him, and the one before him. On and on it went. 

“ Iris they're on to yo-” 

His plea was cut off by the sound of gunshots pelleting the rooftop from either side of where she sat.  Her gaze had barely registered the exact points of the shooters, before she was up, rifle over her shoulder, and over the side of the building, sliding down into the open windows below. She crashed inside, leaping over the crumpled body of one of the former snipers, sent to guard the doctor. Neck broken. 

_ It painless, necessarrry,  _ Iris had told herself as she did it, man struggling in her arms, reaching for his radio, anything to call for help, to deny death. 

“ Reinforcements on either side of you. Clear getaway path north of your position.” 

“ Give me path to Doctorrr. He dies tonight.” 

Tonight. Or else all her work would be in vain. All the deaths she’d caused up until the very point she aimed the rifle at the Doctor’s head, meaningless. She would kill him with her bare hands. She leapt again over an office desk, landing and turning down a created path she’d created for this very reason. Left, right, left, out through the back window. Free falling ,she braced herself, rolling as she hit the ground, and springing back up to run. 

“ No. No. No. No. Not again,” Locus argued. “ It’s a death sentence if you go after him. Remember what happened last time. He’ll take you apart again. And this time he won’t put you back together. No we can wait. Reformulate.” 

Police sirens howled in the background, people screamed in panic. She would have to be quick. 

“ Hey! Are you listening to me?” 

“ Niet time?” she hissed. “ You help,” she huffed, sliding around another corner, ignoring the blaring cop cars, and the footsteps of men behind her. Instinct and the need for revenge was the only thing that drove her at that moment. Nothing else mattered. “ Orrr I vill do it myself.” 

“ I won’t help you kill yourself, if that’s what you're asking.” 

She leapt to the the nearest fire escape, pulling herself up and over the bars. 

“ Iris! Fucking shit. Just stop. There are police surrounding his position. Not to mention his agents. Let's say by some luck you manage get past the police, two his personal bodyguard is the equivalent of one of you.” 

“ Ne dva.” 

“ You're not a superhero Iris. A couple well placed bullets and your done for.” 

She pulled herself onto the nearest roof, stopping just long enough to see helicopters looming in the distance, hear the footsteps of men down below. “ Vhat other choice do I have? I vait he hides.”

“ Yeah. And you live to find him another day,” Locus said. “ Come on Iris. I’ll help you...next time.” 

“ I…” She glanced towards where the platform lay, people were still shattering, and somewhere in the mess, Doctor Lukin was preparing to escape. It would be another year, maybe more before he came out of hiding again. Another year he was left to experiment and test. The next time she saw him it would be even harder to get to him. 

How could Locus understand the severity of it all. Everything she was willing to risk? 

“ If this is about that guy….it---” 

“  Eto ne pro nego!” She exclaimed. It was about so much more. 

“ Iris  please, you have to get moving. I have a clear path for you.” 

“ Locus---” 

_ Pht. _

She heard the shot, the attacker’s footsteps before she felt the blow of the bullet. She struggled not to fall to one knee as the pain set in, raw and burning, with a twinge of stinging that was so very familiar. She gritted her teeth as she looked up into the face of her attacker. 

He was one of the doctor’s agent’s, armed to the teeth, and clothe in all black. 

“ Don’t move,” he barked, his pistol equipped with an silencer pointed directly in her face. 

_ It to be quiet job.. _ she reasoned as she stared at the barrel. His earlier demand fell to deaf ears as she lurch at him, intending to grab his gun and flip him  off the roof. He shot again, before she could, his gunwork quick and efficient, this blow hitting her straight in the upper thigh. 

She gasped, gritting her teeth as pain immediately set in and she fell to her knees. The stinging followed seconds later, trailing down the length of her thigh, and up the left side of her body. 

“ Are you here to kill me?” She gasped, tasting blood in her mouth. 

The agent shifted, one hand going to his ear. “ I have the subject neutralized. Ready the pickup.” 

_ Not death zen. Never so kind.  _ She was to go back. Back to that place of rot and ruin, Where things were created and destroyed. She would be taken apart, put back together and reconditioned. 

_ Never again.  _

Numbness was starting to seep in her entire body, setting in her bones, tightening her skin, and she knew she had to be quick. Her legs were little more than useless in their current state...but her hands and arms. They were no more a part of her fleshly body as the gun was to the agent in front of her. Perhaps he’d forgotten just what they’d done to her, after her first attempt, and fail at escaping. It had taken ten men to hold her down, and a single saw in the hands of Dr. Lukin, to do the job. 

No she hadn’t forgotten. And she never would. 

She lurched at the agent one final time, grabbing the hand holding the gun with one hand, and his free hand with the other. He resisted, his strength pulling the both of them backwards, swinging his body back and forth in an effort to shake her off. She held firm, gritting her teeth as she brought both numbing legs up and around his torso. Hands tightening about his wrists she squeezed until she held bones crack and joints pop. 

The agent screamed falling to his knees. 

“I have message forrr doctorrr,” Iris said mouth positioned over the agent’s ear piece. “ You vill never have me. Send all yourrr men. I vill kut them down.  One by one.” 

“ Iris. I’ve contacted help.” Locus yelled in her ear, back after his long bout of silence. “ There’s a clear path. Shit. What  are you doing?” 

Iris took a step forward, the agent’s useless and broken hands still clamped tight in her own. He’d gone from screaming to whimpering in pain, his breath shallow and frantic. Each step sent a burst of stinging pain surging up her body, and her chest felt like it was going to explode, but she continued forward, stopping when she reached the edge of the building. 

“ Iris?” Locus barked. “ What are you do-” 

“ Sending message,” she said and flung the screaming agent off the roof.

 

* * *

**April**

 

“ Are you guys seeing this?’ April asked as she paced her living room. 

“ Yeah it’s the headline of the news,” Donnie said. “ Why would anyone want to kill The Doctor. The man’s a part time humanitarian. Oh and his accomplishments in the field of prosthetics, could change lives. Who would want to kill him?” 

“ And why,” April  said strolling to the next page on her laptop. “ He is working with TCRI now. That could have something to do with it.” 

“ Could,” Donnie  said. “ We definitely should look more into this. Could have something to do with the Foot Clan.” 

“ Already on it,” April said grabbing her coat. “ I’m going to go down-” Her phone vibrated against her ear, indicating another incoming caller. She pulled the phone back, examining the phone as it buzzed, the caller ID displaying the message: UNKNOWN CALLER. “ Give me a second Donnie, there someone on the other line.” She clicked over before he could answer, brow furrowed, and lips set into a hard frown. The only people who had the number to her T-phone were the turtles and Casey. There were never any unknown callers, ever. 

“ Hello,” she said hesitantly. The line was silent. She tried again. “ Hel-”

“ APRIL! April O’Neil. You don’t know me, and I don't know you. But I need your help.” It was a female’s voice, hurried and hard breathed. “ I have a friend, she’s horribly injured, dying, and in need of immediate medical attention. I can send you her coordinates. She’d unresponsive and-”

“ Wait. Who is this?” April asked. 

“ My name is Locus,” the caller hurriedly said. “ I’m a student at Harvard University majoring in---” Locus sighed. “ Nevermind. I’ll tell you all that later. My friend is in terrible danger. She got caught in the attack on the Doctor. Please. Please. I need your help.” 

“ Ok. Ok. Where is she?”

“ I’m sending the coordinate now. Oh and April.” 

“ Yeah?”

“ Be careful. There’s....agents all over the area.”

“ Don’t worry,” April said confidence sliding out her voice. “  Got that part covered.” 


	2. Wasted Opportunity

**Iris**

Iris was dying. 

Blood seeping, and body numb, she lay crumpled in a heap of garbage, staring up at the sky, listening to the sounds of panic all around her. Beside her a rat the size of her fist, sniffed her bleeding thigh, then scurried off upon realizing she was not yet dead. 

They would find her soon, pick her up and take her away. She would be lying if she said some part of her wasn’t afraid. She was expensive, a product of years and years of experimentation, and testing, that coupled with training, and military grade conditioning, made her a product “ the kind Doctor,” was not to happy having had misplaced. They would recondition her, again and again, until it worked. Until she was the perfect willing slave. 

She wondered if maybe she should have listened to Locus, and waited. Or perhaps have let the whole endeavor go. There were many places she could have gone, many different identities she could have taken. 

_ But I vill be forrrever rrrunning,  _ and forever was a very long time. 

More sirens howled, closer to where she lay, with them the sound of footsteps. A gentle  _ clack, clack,  _ that only came from someone walking in heels. A civilian maybe? One of the audience from the speech? Iris tensed. Whoever it was, she would have no means to stop them if they attacked. All her energy had been spent killing the last agent, then climbing down the building to avoid falling herself. 

Black dots speckled in Iris’s vision, signalling the oncoming of unconsciousness.  Who ever it was, be it civilian or one of Dr. Lukin’s agents, they’d come too late. 

“ Found her.” A woman’s voice, hurried and heavy of breath. Iris’s eyes fluttered close. “ No. Hey! Keep your eyes open.” A warm hand touched Iris’s brow. She opened her eyes slowly, struggling, the action feeling like it took every muscle in her body to do so. “ Raph---why him?” 

A face appeared in Iris’s clouded vision. A woman, dark haired and full lipped, she stared down at Iris with a gaze full of concern, the kind of gaze reserved for one who’d just watched their comrade fall in battle. 

“  Eto ty Mariya?” Iris whispered. Behind the young woman clouds began to form, deep and dark they devoured everything, yet the young woman’s face remained lit, and visible, a clear spectrum in Iris’s gaze. 

“ That’s right just keep talking. Donnie I need you and Raph now.” 

“ Eto ty Mariya? Mariya?” 

“ My name is April. Your friend Locus sent me”

_ Locus.  _

“ I'm here to help.” 

“  Net…” Iris struggled to speak, blood bubbling from her lips, lungs rattling as she spoke. “ ...Bol'nitsy.” 

“ I don’t understand what your---Hey. Stay awake. He---” 

Fingers rapped forcibly against Iris’s cheeks, stinging  with each blow. Not nearly enough to keep her awake, or force her not to let go. 

* * *

**April**

“ April! Whats going on?” Donnie exclaimed falling in beside where April sat. April turned to him, hair clinging to her lips, fingers bloody. Laying half sprawled on her lap a young woman, blood curling from her lips, and nose. 

“ April?” 

“ She’s dying Donnie. I need your help?” April said pushing hair out of her face, smearing her cheek with the young woman’s blood, she barely noticed. 

“ Sure but---”  Donnie started to protest. 

“ Iris...” Raph whispered, rushing forward pushing past Donnie to come to April’s side. “ What happ---” he cut himself off, eyes roaming the young woman’s body, the blood oozing from her torso, smeared on her cut face. His teeth chattered, lips moving as if tasting the words he wanted to speak before speaking them. 

“ Raph,” April said placing a hand on his forearm, he ignored her. “ Raph,” she said a little louder, “ Come on Raph. We need to get her back to the lair, as soon as possible.” She sat her face, eyebrows furrowed, and mouth curled into a frown. She did not know who this girl was, or what her connection to Raph was, and now was not the time for questions, she would have them explain everything later, when she had more time, and more details. “ Raph, here keep pressure on this wound,” April said as Raph took the young woman from her grip. She pressed her jacket firmly on the wound punctured in her side, indicating where he should hold his free hand. “ Go,” she said firmly. Raph readjusted awkwardly, holding the young woman like she was a busted sack of potatoes ready to fall apart, moving ahead, leaving Donnie and April alone. 

“ I’m right behind you,” April said. 

“ Sure thing,” Donnie said hesitantly eyes roaming her blood stained frame, worry evident. Forgetting the blood drying on her hand, April ran a shaking hand through her hair. “ April are you---?” 

“ I’m fine Donnie. Just a little surprised. I wasn't expecting this.”  

“ When we get back the lair, we should examine you too,” Donnie said. 

“ Yeah,” April said rubbing her bare arms. “ Yeah.”

_________

Donnie left and April held the phone back up to her ear. Following behind Donnie and Raph as fast as she could on foot. “ Ok, so now what?” 

“ Shit. Shit.” Locus said. “Honestly didn't plan this far ahead.” 

“ Plan?” April exclaimed. “ So this was a part of some plan.” 

“ No. Wait.” Locus sighed. “ Listen the whole Iris getting shot, and having to call you was not a part of the plan. The whole Dr. Lukin being shot thing, kinda was.”

“ You're not making any sense.” 

“ No. No. I’m not. Listen I can’t give you details right now. Not until I know Iris is safe. Not until I know you can be trusted...completely. If I tell you anymore, Iris might freak.” 

April stopped walking as she approached the head of the alley, pausing to watch police cars speed past. In the sky right behind them helicopters roared. “ Ok,” April said. “ But tell me at least one thing.” 

“ Yeah?” 

“ Why did you ask for Raph to come. H-how do you know about him---about them?” 

There was a long pause on Locus’s end, and an intake of breath, April waited, not trusting her shaking legs to carry her any further. She could smell blood in air, taste in her mouth. She’d been around death, had seen it while sharing her time with the brothers, but it never ceased to make her feel weak, as if she were dying as well. 

And the way Raph had acted. Vulnerable  and weak, the complete opposite of how he always was, she hadn't seen him that way since...since Splinter was injured. He knew that young woman...he had to have. 

“ He was the one that helped Iris escape from Dr. Lukin when he brought her to New York. She trusts him...more than anyone else,” she paused again, sucking in deep, before continuing, “ Even me. He gave her your contact information, and I hacked her phone to get it, just in case.  Besides that I don’t know anything more. She won’t tell me.” 

_ This just got really complicated really fast,  _ April thought. 

“ I’m guessing by your silence you didn't know either,” Locus said. 

“ No,” April admitted. “ I didn't.” 

“ Well,” Locus said. “ welcome to the club.” 

_____________________

April arrived at the lair forty-five minutes behind Donnie and Raph. Clothes still stained with blood she hurried into where Leo, Mikey and Raph were all waiting in front of the infirmary. Leo stood arms crossed in the middle of shouting something at Raph, who was pacing in front of the infirmary entrance, looking like he was more than ready to hit something. Mikey sat on the floor watching the argument with a slice of pizza in one hand and a can of orange crush in the other. 

“ Yo Angelcakes,” Mikey called. 

“ You mind telling me what happened? Raph here has forgotten his words.” Leo demanded. 

“ She has something to do with the Dr. Lukin assassination attempt,” April said strambling  past them to Donnie’s console and plugging in her phone. Behind her Mikey and Leo gathered. “ Is Donnie in the infirmary?”

“ He took her inside,” Leo said. 

“ Can you hear me?”  April said into the microphone position at the keyboard. 

“ Who are we talking to?” Mikey said. April shushed him. 

“ Yes. Yes,” Locus answered her voice radiating from the speakers. “ Where’s Iris? Is she safe. Shit,” Locus exclaimed. “ As if you would tell me if she wasn’t. “ Fuck I knew this was a bad idea. Listen let me speak to the other one...Raphael.” 

April turned to Raph, who’d stopped pacing and was heading over. He cleared his throat. “ Yeah.”

“ I don’t know if this is legit, if you're legit, but...but Iris trust you. So I’m going to have to trust you to. I’m screwed either way.. And now we’re here.” Locus sighed. “ Look you want answers, probably...and I have them. Files lots of them. I was planning on making them public after all this was over...you know after the Dr. was dead...but things don’t work out quite like they should, and it looks like you and April are now a part of this.” 

“ Why now?” Raph asked his voice a tone away from a shout. “ I thought she said she was going to wait t----” 

“Opportunity,” Locus said. “ He was coming out in the open. Wasn't exactly my idea, but she was willing to do it with our without me. I couldn't let her go at it alone. And after tonight I’m happy I did not. She was convinced this was the only chance she would have before he went back into hiding.” She hesitated, breath heavy. “ Maybe I should have went with my gut and called you first.” 

“ Yeah,” Raph said pushing away from the console violently, shoving Leo who was glaring at him, and Mikey out of the way, to continue his pacing. “ Would have saved us all a lot of fuckin trouble.”

* * *

**Iris**

_ “ Niet. Never vill I allow such attack to hinder me frrrom of me. To stop now would be delaying zousand of lives valuable trrreatment. Niet I kannot let zat stand,” _ a familiar voice rang in Iris’s head, the voice of Dr. Lukin. That voice that screamed goodness, without defilement or doubt. It was the voice of a man who believed he did no wrong, and would do no wrong, leaking self assurance. Many a nights she fell asleep imagining that same voice, cracked in pain, broken of any self assurance, humbled, as “ the Good Doctor,” begged for his life at her feet. 

Iris cracked open her eyes, expecting to see a white ceiling and walls, devoid of shapes or forms, besides her own twisted shadow reflecting off the walls like half formed demons. But what she got instead was a circular shaft, the walls of which were covered in colorful, unreadable, at least to her, graffiti. She lay on a large cot, beside her a makeshift table holding a single glass of water, a vase with a single daisy, and a worn yellow and black paperback book. She was attached to an IV on her opposite side, beside it a table holding a tray of newly cleaned medical instruments, smelling strongly of some form of anesthetic 

She struggled to sit up, pulling down a thin sheet that covered her up to her collarbone. She lay in nothing but her black sports bra and black boxer briefs. A bandage and gauze was wrapped tight around her lower torso, a small speck of blood peeking through the white bandage. She pulled the cover down lower, over her injured thigh where another bandage was wrapped. She flexed her thigh feeling pain, sharp and intense, and she wondered just how long she’d been out, and just where she was. 

It was not the lab, that was for sure. Had she been in Dr. Lukin’s lab, she would have been strapped down, or at the very least her arms removed, and he currently would not have given her the luxury of conscious moment of her body. No, she was somewhere else. Locus’s place maybe. Against her better wishes. Iris had crushed the comm for a reason. Being recaptured would put Locus at risk, a risk that Iris was not willing to take. She’d had her fair share of innocent blood spilled on her behalf. And if she truly was at Locus’s place, she would have to end the friendship sooner better than later. 

She shook her head. Better not to think about that before it happened, better not to think of it at all. 

_ “ To my attacker,” _  Dr. Lukin continued his voice booming in the distance, Iris flinched at the sound, hating herself immediately  for her weakness.   _ “ I say, nice trrry. I vill be vaiting forrr yourrr next attempt.” _

_ Not here… _ Iris thought.  _ It only television.  _

Gritting her teeth Iris, lifted her uninjured leg off the side of the cot, letting her other leg follow as she stood shakily to both feet. Pulling out the IV on the way up, and grabbing a scalpel from the tools beside the cot, she stifled a gasp as she took one careful step forward. The ground beneath her bare feet was cold and damp, the air pungent with a scent she could not quite place. 

The entrance to the space she was being held was open, a cascade of black plastic hanging from the ceiling the only thing blocking Iri’s way to the outside. 

A hand, large, and cold touched her shoulder. Growling she turned, hands out, grabbing the wrist of her attacker, using it at leverage she brought her foot out, latching the curve of it into their neck and pulling herself up. They body didn't fall as she expected, but stayed upright, steady and secure.

Her  attacker was strong. She would have to be stronger.

Not skipping a beat she  brought her other leg around and  placed it on the line of their shoulder and propelled herself backwards, landing crouched away from where they were standing.

" Awesome..." someone cheered. 

Four figures stood around her large, larger than any man she’d ever seen. But how could she be sure, they were doing so much experimentation, trying to make bigger better soldiers, trying to do the impossible. One had only to look at her to see the proof, to see just what they could do to a human body.

“It’s me. Iris--” 

She lurched forward, dodging the swing of one of the attackers, using her  arms to push them back. There was a grunt, then the sound of crashing as they went stumbling backwards. The machinery in her arm screaming as bent metal shifted against itself.

She registered movement to her left, the attacker carrying a staff. Leaping as they swung Iris brought both hands down onto the staff and swung her body bringing her foot upwards and into their side. There was a groan, more of surprise than pain. On the ground, she shifted,  propelling  herself upwards, bringing both her feet together in an upwards kick. The attacker faltered, falling back with a audible, " OW! Ow. Ow."

Iris slid to a stop, a few feet from her attackers both hands digging into the concrete, sparks flying. Lifting her gaze she scanned the place where her would be  attackers stood. 

They were not men. 

“ Kakiye?” ’She asked gaze falling on the largest of the three turtles. Her eyes met Raphael's, gray against green, and she knew that Locus had called them against her wishes. Knowing that at the very least ‘he’ would come. She looked away first, suddenly embarrassed, wishing she was anywhere else. 

“ Iris. No stop wait.” 

Iris turned, a young woman rushed towards her, hands out in front of her as if confronting a wild animal. Iris had seen that stance before, that facial expression, on the scientists at Dr. Lukin’s lab right before she killed them all and escaped. ‘ Calm,’ the stance said, ‘ we aren’t going to hurt you.” She didn't believe them, not even for a second. They would say anything to save their own skins. But somehow...somehow a part of her believed the young woman in front of her. 

“ April,” one of the turtles called trying to stop her. It wore a blue mask over it’s eyes. 

“ It’s ok,” April said stepping closer to where Iris stood. Iris’s hand tightened around the scapel. “ We’re friends.” 

" You,” Iris said gesturing to April with her chin, “  Arrre one frrrom alley.” 

“ Yes. Apri. April O’Neil. Your friend Locus, she...she called me. You were in trouble.” 

“Wherrre is she now?” Iris asked. 

“ I can contact her. She’s waiting on contact from you, to assure your safe.  Look, we’re trying to help you. And we’re just as confused as you are. So if you can just…” she took a few steps closer to where Iris stood. Iris jerked back, noticing the moment she did the sound of the others readying their weapons. 

April took a few more steps until she was within arms reach of Iris. She seemed unafraid for her life, and determined. It was in those few moments that Iris reasoned the young woman was either very brave, or very stupid. In the amount of time it took the creatures to lunge at Iris and take her down, Iris could break every tiny bone is April’s neck. 

“ Put the weapon down,” April continued hand outstretched. 

Iris glanced at her pale hand for a long moment, trying to reason whether April’s intentions were completely pure. Afterall, Iris reasoned,  the entire setup could be a rouse, arranged by Dr. Lukin to have Iris let down her guard, so he could come in again and take her back. It would not be the first time he’d tried such a thing, and until he was dead, it would not be the last. 

Iris placed the scalpel in April’s hand, pausing as she did so to look April full on in the eyes. Iris’s gray’s against April’s hazels. Breaking eye contact a few seconds later, Iris looked at one of the many monitors hovering just feet from where she stood, the news was projected, beneath it the date and time. 

_ November 20. So I’ve been out little morrre zan day.  _ Her fingers went to the wound at her torso. The attacker had expertly aimed for the place she was weakest from earlier injuries and experiments that had not healed correctly. Information given to him courtesy of the Dr., no doubt. Meaning the wound would not heal as quickly as it should, delaying her progress even more. 

“ Then contact her,” Iris said still looking at the monitor which was once again showing a clip of Dr. Lukin addressing the media. He was smiling, all thin lips and flashing white teeth, beneath a primed blonde mustache. She could feel the eyes of the others on her, ‘his’ eyes on her. She grimaced, she would get Locus for this. As if she needed any more complications in her life, anymore doubt. 

April came in beside her, plugging up her phone and setting  up the connection, it rang for a few moments before Locus answered. 

“ Please tell me this is you?” Iris said. “ Please. Please.” 

“ Da. It me.” 

“ Jesus...I mean Brahma I swear I’m going to the temple first chance I get. Are you ok. I mean besides from the obvious?”

“ I am fine. Are you safe? The Dr. has not tracked you?” 

“ Clear on my end, thanks to your new  friends.” 

Iris didn't bother to ask what friends she meant. “ Video? I vant to see you.”

“ Standing outside the train station, not the the best reception for video. Besides I’ll see you soon enough.” 

“ Ve not plan to meet.” 

Locus chuckled, a small forced thing that sounded a little winded, “ So busy dying you forgot I do have Thanksgiving break, and a family I desperately need to visit before they freak.”

“ Oh,” Iris mumbled, she had forgotten Locus telling her that. So caught up in her own affairs, and her quest to kill the Dr.. “ Da.” 

“ Don’t worry about it,” she said. “ Although you will be happy to know that in between bothering your new friends for updates, worrying about you, and studying for my mid-terms, I’ve dyed my hair back to its natural color, finally figured out how to get this nose ring out, and converted back to Hinduism, all in a span of one and a half days. Praise me for I am powerful.”

“ Zat is lot,” Iris said smiling a little  despite herself. 

“ And after I meet with my family, I’m coming to see you, whether you like it or not. And before you try and convince me it it's a bad idea. Stop and consider just how hypocritical that will make you sound.” She paused, before continuing “ That said, you need to lay low. Like very low.  Dr. Lukin’s agents are looking everywhere for you. Add in the police, and it's a real shitshow.” 

“ Locus…” 

“I know it’s hard,” Locus said. “ You're  set on making sure Dr. Lukin is dead. And I understand that...really I do, no matter how much you think I don’t. But you're not helping either one of us by running in guns a blazing. Take some time. Heal. I’ll see you in a couple of days yeah?”

Iris said nothing. 

“ Yeah? Iris?” 

“ O.K..” 

“  Obeshchaniye?” Locus asked. 

“  Obeshchayu,” Iris said. They both hung up at the same time, the conversation over as quickly as it had started. Leaving part of Iris wishing she’d just stayed asleep and never woken up. What was she supposed to do now? 

Iris stayed positioned the way she was, staring at the phone, refusing to turn around and face her new reality until her breath had calmed and her heart had stopped pounding in her chest. The Dr. was alive, and she was little more than useless, and near half dead herself. 

“ So are you staying here or?” Someone said directly behind her, “ Because you can have my bed if you want. Its’ totally clean, just changed the sheets and everything.”

“ Mikey!” A disapproving voice said.

“ What. You heard, she has to lay low. Very low,” he added for emphasis, “ What better place to lay low, then the ultimate low, underground.” 

_ This is what he vants,  _ Iris thought,  _ Me hiding. Afraid. Weak. forever running.  _

“ Hey.” Iris glanced up, snapped out of gaze by a hand on her bare shoulder. She turned to face April who was standing beside her smiling. “ We should get you some clothes. Maybe something to eat while you...wait.” She jerked her head to the side, indicating a room, then stepped out of Iris’s line of sight, leaving her no choice but to follow. Dutifully Iris lowered her head, climbing down off the platform holding the computers and monitors onto the ground, ignoring the gazes on her as she tried to hide her bloodshot eyes and shaking limbs. 

April led her a back area, sectioned off by a yellow sheet hanging from the half-circle doorway. A bed sat on the one end of the room, beside it a large trunk and a desk.  Bending April opened the trunk and started rummaging through it, pulling out clothes and shoes and stacking them in piles. “ I know I have something. Anything that can fit you.” She looked up, hair trailing in her face to gloss over Iris’s form quickly before continuing her sorting. In the end she chose a tank top, a pair of yellow and gray sweatpants, and a pair of sneakers. 

“ I’ll be waiting right outside,” April said heading to the cloth covered doorway. 

Iris stopped her with a light press against the arm “  Why arrre you doing zis?”  She’d tried to put the pieces together in her head since she woke up. Such kindness, generosity, even after Iris had attacked her, and the others in their own home, threatened them. And here she was clothing, even offering to feed Iris. Were she---they really as kind as Raphael had insisted, or was this a act? “ Has he not told you what I've done what I am…” It was hard to say it, hard to think of it really. What she’d done, the things she’d said in pursuit of her revenge. She didn’t think she’d have to face it until after Dr. Lukin was dead, and she finally became the person she wanted to be. 

“ I read the files,” April said, not pulling her arm back like Iris expected, “ And I know you're in trouble. You and others like you. And I want to help. They do to. That’s what they’re about, helping people. That’s what's it’s always been about. Everything else just comes with the territory.” April smiled reassuringly, the motion looking effortless on her face. “ Get dressed, come out and meet the guys, believe me they're not nearly as intimidating as they look.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Turtles next chapter, different POVs as well as more information on Iris's origin and her background with Raph. 
> 
> Kudos and Reviews welcome!!


	4. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Chapter. Enjoy.

" These were my best glasses," Donatello complained holding the broken pieces of his glasses in his hands. He frowned as if lamenting over a lost puppy. Between the training fights in the dojo, actual fights with Raph, and Mikey’s goofing off around his stuff, Donnie was running out of actual glasses to wear that actually fit his face, and style. 

" Did you see the way she moved," Michelangelo said spreading out his fingers. " She almost kicked Raph’s butt.” 

The larger turtle stopped pacing in front of the area that searched as an emergency makeshift infirmary, long enough to throw a glare at his brother, but reminded silent. Donnie watched his pace, knowing he wasn't taking any of this very well, and Leo’s not so subtle stares of disappoints weren’t helping either. 

“ Her arms," Donnie said wrapping the middle of his glasses with tape, then frowning as they fell apart again. “ are the work of Dr. Lukin. “ Electric nodes are attached to the spine, leading to the brain receptors giving her--” he stopped himself short, the others were giving him that look again, the one that screamed they had no idea what he was talking about. “ This was the technology he was working on,” Donnie continued. “ Robotic prosthetics. Similar to the ones used in shredders old suit. There’s so much more, genetic mutation, human experimentation, extortion...the list goes on and on. But we’ve only got part of the files.”

“ I don’t like this,” Leo mumbled. 

“ Yeah well neithuh do I,” Raph grumbled in return. “ And what happened to ya turn keepin watch?” He asked pointing at Mikey who was currently devouring an entire box of Goldfish crackers.

“ I got hungry bro. Took a break.”

“ That’s your excuse for everything. When are you not hungry Mikey?” 

“ Hey I’m a growing turtle. It takes work to look this good.” 

“ Doofus,” Raph growled. 

“ Guys,” April called poking her head out of her room. She walked out, Iris behind her, she wore a black, skin tight tank top, and yellow sweat pants that obviously belonged to April, and like the tanktop were a little too tight for Iris’s curver, athletic form. Her arms were crossed. 

_ “Ve-”  _ She struggled to speak but her lips would not move. She tried again, with the same result. Tongue darting out between teeth she attempted to lick her partily opened lips,  she took a long breath and finally blurted“ I Irrris. I herrre because I trrried to kill Doctorrr. I failed. Verrry good to meet you all.”

Donnie blinked, adjusted his hold on his  glasses and looked from Leo, to April who was smiling uncomfortably, to Mikey who was staring, then finally to Raph who’d finally stopped pacing, and was shaking his head. As far as informal introductions went, Donnie had to hand it to her. Blunt, and to the point. 

But she wasn't done. “ I not enemy unless you get in va--”

“ So Mikey,” April said sliding in front of Iris, still smiling. “ Want to introduce everyone…?

He looked up, as always wearing that confused spaced out look  that just screamed, ‘What’s going on?.’ As always he beamed whenever he was addressed directly by April. Spinning around in a rolling chair he’d snatched from Donnie’s desk, he pointed to himself while he spun.  “Me?” 

“ Yeah you,” she laughed nervously, “ No one does it like do you Mikey.” 

Mikey grinned and Donnie rolled his eyes. Leave it to April to know how to defuse an almost hostile situation again. Iris for her part shifted foot to foot, gaze moving over each and every one of them, except Raph. Donnie didn't have to turn to see Raph wasn’t looking at her either, his heavy breathing, and pacing sounds gave that much away. 

“ We’re only the saviors of the city girl,” Mikey said sliding into Iris’s space. Iris took a step back. “ Big invasion a couple months back. Stopped. Boom that was us,” he gestured to himself and the others. “ Got keys to the city and everything. Year it was a big thing. Me and the guys. Mostly me. How you doing girl my name is Michelangelo. You can call me Mikey for short. All the ladies do, April does. I'm the lively one of the group, always keeping the party going, rain or shine. You can get to know me later, possibly. Privately…” Iris stared at him impassively, Mikey shrugged“ I dunno whatever you want.” he rolled the chair across the room to where Donnie sat. Donnie readied himself for what could possibly come spewing out of Mikey’s mouth. “ This is Donatello, who you already met, he’s the brains of our operation. You could even say genius, on a good day. Patched you up real nice girl. Real intellectual type, textbooks, beakers, enjoys sitting in his lab, poptarts and---” 

“ Mikey…” Donnie mumbled cutting him off abruptly, suddenly not ready for whatever embarrassing thing Mikey was going to say. 

“ Moving on,” Mikey said sliding to Leo, making sure to do a double spin around him before stopping.  This is Leonardo, the leader. Not the talkative type, the guy you want any sticky situation. And the master of stealth.” He spun around in the chair, arms up. “ Enjoys meditating,” Mikey said quickly moving the chair away from Leo to slid across the room, “ And talking to his katanas when he thinks no one is listening,” Mikey added quickly. 

Donnie couldn’t help the smile that creased his face, Leo did in fact talk to his katanas. 

“ What. No I don-” Leo began to protest but Mikey was already across the room to where Raph was standing arms folded, looking more than just a little annoyed and irritated. He was in the kind of mood that resulted in someone being hurt, or worse, something being broken if he was picked at enough. And judging by Mikey’s lack of caution, Donnie guested Mikey would be in the direct line of fire. 

“And last but not least,” Mikey shouted. “ My favorite turtle, the one in red, cuddly and bitter because he got his butt whooped by a gir---” 

Raph pushed the chair before Mikey could finish, sending Mikey barreling backward, the chair sliding  towards where Iris stood. She watched Mikey past, then finally tip backward crashing to the ground, face void of any recognizable emotion, before looking back up to where Raph stood, arms folded glaring at her. 

“ Raphael, ladies and gentlemen,” Mikey coughed waving both arms in the air, mocking an audience applause  with his mouth. “ Who got beat by a gir---” 

“ Shut it,” Raphael barked. 

“ Girl,” Mikey continued undeterred as usual. “ He enjoys hitting stuff, yelling, brooding and..well that’s about it.” Mikey popped back up, grinning. 

Iris unfolded her arms, Donnie watched closely as the metal shifted, completely smooth until she bent or moved her arms, then the metal compensated for the movement by what appeared like bending, while still keeping the nature shape of a human arm. He’d be lying if he said he didn't want a closer look. Sure he’d gotten a look at her arms while he was conducting emergency surgery,  but it was so minsure it barely counted. 

Iris nodded. “ It good to meet you all,” she said sounding almost robotic. 

When April turned to lead her into the kitchen, Iris followed sheepishly, Mikey not far behind. Donnie turned to his computers, he still hadn't finished analyzing the data Iris’s contact Locus was still sending over, most of which was still encrypted, and still in Russian. 

“ How's it looking Donnie,” Leo asked over his shoulder. 

“ Like its going to take me a few days to crack this. Not to mention my Russian’s a little rough. Locus has done a lot of encrypting so far, but as master student in  archaeogenetics with a minor focus in genomics, this a little out of her league.” 

“ A minor in what? Wait how do you know that?” Leo asked. 

Donnie paused in his typing, long enough to glance over at Leo, then back at his screen. “ Oh. She told me. Before she sent the files.” Donnie licked his lips, having broken one more line of code. “ And we’ve been texting as we translate and decode.” He sent another message to her, this one reading “ laugh out loud,” mentally kicking himself for being so wrapped up in decoding that he forgot to abbreviate. She responded seconds later. Her comment simply reading, ‘ OMG your not one of ‘those’ people are you?’ 

Sheltering a smile, he turned to Leo, momentarily stopping his typing. “ I’ve also been warned not to bring any of this up to Iris...the results I mean. Major trigger.” 

“ Good to know,” Leo said pushing away from the consoles. He turned to walk away. Donnie stopped him. 

“ Hey where are you going?” 

“ To talk to Raph,” Leo said. 

Donnie sighed. That could not end well. No secrets kept from each others ever did. 

“ If it helps you any,” Donnie said not looking from his screen. “ I knew about her too…” 

“ What?” 

“ I’ve known for a while,” Donnie continued. He finally turned to face Leo, who’d stopped in his tracks. “ Not about all of this of course. I thought she was just some human girl Raph had an interest in. He said, she made him feel normal...accepted,” Donnie hesitated, wondering if he’d said too much, hoping that he hadn’t. “ I figured he would tell us all when he was ready...that not all secrets had to be rushed, or shared.” 

They all had their secrets, even Leo, and even more so their insecurities. Sure they’d made the decision to stay the way they were, and not change into humans, but the doubts...the fears were still there. Would there ever be anyone besides April, Vern, Casey and the select few policemen who would ever accept them as they were...love them as more than just friends and family. 

“ Thanks Donnie,” Leo said after a long moment. 

“ Yeah. Just do me a favorite Leo and try not to start a fight. I have enough stuff to fix as is.” 

* * *

**Iris**

  


Iris had not realized just how hungry she was until she’d started eating. Michelangelo had given her pizza first, a dish she was somewhat familiar with as Raphael had introduced it to her. She barely remembered the encounter, aside from being scared, hurt and wary of a stranger offering her strange food. Now the circumstances were a bit different. 

Still cautious by nature, she went from taking small exploratory bites to nearly shoving the entire slice in her mouth. While both April and Mikey watched on. Mikey grinning as he handed her another slice. 

There’s more where that came from,” he said, “ And snacks,” he pushed a ridiculously large amount of snacks in her direction. 

“ What is zat?” Iris pointed to a blue and white package with a cookie on the front. 

“ These. These right here girl are Oreos. Boom. Best cookies evera! Try one.” 

Still chewing the pizza, Iris shoved a cookie in her mouth. It was good. Sweet. Unlike anything she’d ever tasted. Not that she’d eaten a lot of sweets, most of the food she’d eaten at the facility was bland, more slop than solid food, when they’d actually fed her. She took another shoving it without hesitation into her mouth. Across from her April grimaced.

“ Zese,” Iris said pointing to the pack. “ I like.” 

“ I knew you would. Wait until you try the birthday cake  flavored ones,” Mikey said grinning. 

Iris sat down the food, already feeling a knot building in the pit of her stomach. He spoke as if she were staying for an extending period of time. As if something was not bound to happen and she was forced to leave. Grinned at her like they were already friends, that quickly. 

Abruptly she thought of the boy in the mill, back in Russia. He was no more than twelve or thirteen, but he had that same boyish grin that Michelangelo had. Carefree and accepting, ready to find a comrade where ever there was one. And with that thought, came the horrible memory of what she’d done to him at Dr. Lukin’s orders, how quickly his grin at fled. It made her want to vomit. 

“ Or not,” Mikey added quickly, “ There’s other flavors, pumpkin, chocolate, raspberry, um…” he continued to ramble off names of flavors while Iris and April listened, Iris’s gaze averting as Leonardo approached. 

“ Red velvet...bro,” Mikey called to Leo. 

“ Not now Mikey,” Leo said walking past. Iris watched him, still not getting a clear look at his face. Of all the brothers, he was the one Raphael spoke about the most. He’d called Leonardo ‘ fearless’ in a tone that was both mocking and admiring, depending on the occasion, and made Iris image a form much bigger and mightier than Raphael. Looking at him now, her imagination had been wrong. 

He walked past where they sat and approached the end of the lair, stopping at a panel in the back wall that held four large circular cubicles, each lite brightly. He stopped peering up for a long moment, before leaping up and disappearing into largest of  the circular holes, disappearing inside. 

“ I think that's it,” Mikey said calling Iris’s attention back to him. She chocked her head to the side, confused for a moment to what he was referring, before remembering he’d been rattling off about different cookie flavors. 

She nodded. “ So many kookies,” she said. She reached for another, shoving it in her mouth before he could ask her why she’d stopped eating. From across the table there was a chime, and April stiffened, sighing and rolling her eyes before answering her cell phone. 

“ Yeah. I can make it, give me forty five minutes? Ok.” 

“ What’s up Angel Cakes,” Mikey asked standing with her.

“ Wonda called out sick. They need someone to cover the  new museum exhibit down on main. I’ll be back later.” 

She approached Iris, slowly, cautiously grabbing her hands, not seeming to notice when Iris flinched from the sudden contact. Iris tightened her grip softly, the sensors in her metal fingers, registering the slight warmth and  softness of April’s hand. “ Will you be ok here until I get back?” 

Iris opened her mouth then closed it again. Taken aback once again by April’s sudden concern. Would she? So far there hadn't been any trouble or cause for concern, but that could easily change when April left. And besides that, she had no idea where Raphael had gone to. 

Iris nodded, pulling back her hand. “ Da.” 

“ Mikey?” April said. 

“ It’s all cool here. I’ll take real good care of her. No need to worry.” 

April cast one more look over at Iris, and Iris nodded again, hiding her balled fist behind her back. Watching April disappear through the immense lair, she felt more wary than she had in a long time. The doctor was so close. What if one of his agent had seen April helping her, now that she was going outside she was in danger. Not to mention Locus was coming to the city. 

_ Now zeirrr both... _

A crash from one of the cubicles, followed by a curse then another crash interrupting  her troublesome train of thought. She turned, again seeing nothing but the flash of bright lights, casting shadows down the walls. Iris stood, readying herself for combat of some kind, regretting that she did not know where her combat suit was. 

“ Ah oh,” Mikey said. 

“ What?” 

A large device came hurtling down, crashing onto the ground below. 

“ Donnie is not going to be happy,” Mikey said eyeing the broken device. “ He just fixed that radio.” 

The radio had come flying from the circle Leonardo had disappeared in. 

“ What is happening?”

“ Raph and Leo are probably fighting again,” he shrugged, the action foreign to Iris, but she did not stop to dwell on it. “ It happens, two...three...sometimes six times a day. Hey do you play video games?” He leapt across the counter, “ Just got Overwatch and it is---” 

“ Why?” 

“ Why what?”

“ Why arrre zey fighting?” 

Mikey shrugged again, refusing to look in her direction. “ Could be anything. I stopped keeping track. Had a little book and everything. Me and Donnie made bets---and nevermind. Come on I’ll get game all hooked--” 

_ Thump!  _

Iris turned, both Raph and Leo were standing in front of the cubicles, Raph’s back to her. 

“ Ya full of it Leo. So what now? I gotta tell ya every time I do one little thing? News flash Leo, just because ya the leader, doesn't mean ya can control everythin' I do. De others might be ok wit' dat shit, but I’m not.” 

“ Hey.” 

A tap at Iris’s shoulder, she turned to Mikey, making her face appear as impassive as possible. 

“ Do you have rrrestrrroom” She asked before he could speak.

__________________________________

  


It was chilly outside the lair, had Iris not been used to the colder temperatures, she might have shivered,but her skin remained as warm as the lair had been. The lair had not  held the kind of warmth Iris was used to, artificial and pumped through vents by machines, but the kind of warmth that came with the sun, warm and comforting, even though there wasn’t even a ray of sunshine to be found. 

Comfort. She barely knew the word. Slave to her own pulse, she ran and ran, always searching for lanes, never knowing if there ever was truly any end. She’d dragged so many people down with her, destroyed so many lives. Their voices screamed in her head, reminders of them lingered everywhere. 

_ Still I keep rrrunning... _ She thought. 

But what other choice did she have? 

Iris touched a hand to her torso, her wound had reopened, blood soaking through the shirt. She cursed. The wound on her thigh had already closed.  She settled, resting her head against the plaster wall. Around her lay the remains of her makeshift hideout, hideous and broken but still hers. The space holding some metaphorical semblance to the person she was now. 

In a few days Locus would call the lair expecting Iris to still be there, trusting that she would, only to discover she wasn't. That like all the time before Iris had run. Afraid of the consequences attachment would bring. 

But she couldn’t dwell on that. She had work to do. Crawling to the end of the room, she pulled up the board of the floor, revealing the cavity inside that served as a hiding place for her gear. Inside lay a disassembled combat rifle, several grenades, and sniper shope, a belt of tactual knifes, and an extra combat suit, gloves and shoes she’d taken from a female foot soldier. 

“How did I know ya were going to run, and come here.” 

Iris slid the board back and place, not bothering to  turn. She couldn’t. If she did, she would take it all back, say something..do something she didn't mean. It was all too much. She was better off doing what she had to alone. 

“ Leave I do zis alone.” 

“ So what’s the plan now. Try and take em on again, by yourself. Cause that worked so well last time.” She could hear the mocking in his voice, and she knew he was baiting her. 

“ Better zan vaiting.”

“ Ya goin to get ya self killed.” 

“ Zen I die.” 

“ Don’t give me that. I know ya---” She could sense him getting closer. To close. She spun, swinging her fist. He reacted grabbing her fist and tightening. Growling she swung her free fist, the knuckles colliding with his other hand. He tightened his grip on both her fist. She gritted her teeth, attempting to outmatch him, the muscles in her shoulders screaming, and the metal in her arms shifting. 

“ нет, вы не понимаете,” Iris exclaimed, still pushing. Not having realized she’d slipped into speaking Russian, “ вы не понимаете.” She shook her head, limbs trembling, the strength going out her shoulders. He was going to die. They always died. He was saying something, but with the rush of blood in her ears, she could not hear. 

“Why? Didn't he know what would happen? Hadn't she told him enough about her past, about the fate of the people she’d gotten close to before. The lives and relationships she’d destroyed?

Why?

Why?

He’d let her hands go. And her fist had fallen on his plastron. The sensors in her hands screamed through the haze that the area they now touched was hard, and rigid, but despite the unexplainable sensation the sensor gave her, she could feel nothing else. And for that she was slightly happy. 

  


There was softness under that ridget expanse of shell, softness, blood and bone. And where there was blood and bone, there was life. And with life came death. He smelled musty, like salt and water, and wet stone, the kind of smell that reminded her of the countryside after it rained. She’d come so far and gained so little. 

_ Bekause I don’t know kindness...I feed off of other’s. Bekause I don’t underrrstand why...I’ll stay, thrrrough selfishly I know I shouldn't. _

Part of her knew she should punch him in his side, right where his plastron met flesh, one of the softest parts of his body. The blow may not be enough to knock him down, but it would be enough to stun him long enough for her to get away. She could jump onto the street, into the crowds of people, where she knew he dare not follow. Yet another part of her wished to go back, to accept this help...the kindness they were all willing to give. Take the risk. But…

Instead she  pressed her forehead against his plastron. “ Father Barrrnes,” she whispered. “ Sister Kane.” Tears were falling now, but she didn't try and stop them. “ Little boy at mill.” She paused, letting the names and their faces wash over her. “Nikhul...Nikhul…” She could still see their faces, frozen in fear. 

“ Look,” his voice vibrated through his chest. She opened her eyes against the sound. “ Ya should know by now. I’m different from those other people.”  

Iris pulled back slightly, head cocking to the side, as she observed him, trying to see what he was talking about, not catching the point. 

“ I’m a fuckin turtle,” he said as if the point wasn’t already clear, which it was to her. But she failed the see the coloration. If anything the fact that he was a talking animal was more than enough reason for Dr. Lukin to what him. “ A ninja turtle.”

“ Zerrre is niet ninja or turtles in Russia, Dr…” 

“ The point I’m tryin to make,” he said abruptly, sounding almost annoyed. “ Is that ya need to stop ya worrin, I want to help ya so that’s what I’m going to do. And I got skills. I can protect myself.” He pulled her back, one hand on each shoulder, looking away as he said,“ So stop ya cryin, ya gettin my shell all wet.” 

Iris sniffled, hating herself for having broken down like that. Tears were not something she was used to, and no one...with the exception of Raphael and Dr. Lukin had seen her cry. But that was two, soon to be one, so she could let it go at least for now. 

“ So are ya comin back, or am I goin have to drag ya.” 

She took a full step back, putting herself out of arm's reach of him. “ I do not vish to kause…” she paused for a moment trying to think of the word in English, “ Trrrouble vith... family.” 

“ What? Me and Leo?” He shrugged, “ That’s not for you to worry bout.” He said looking away. “ You should be focused on gettin better, then the Dr. and taken him down. Everythin else is background noise.” 

Iris nodded. Still unsure, the air about her seeming to have left the room, as if his presence was taking it all. She felt differently now, not so unfamiliar with the idea, confused by how fast he could convince her. Even though his initial request seemed to be without choice, she knew, although not how, that if she’d rejected he would have reasoned with her, and not forced her as he’d originally suggested. 

A few months ago, the old her would not have come to such a conclusion. But she wasn't that person anymore...at least she strived not to be. 

“ Da. I kome.” 

He nodded, a little smirk playing on the edge of his lips. He turned to lead the way and she stopped him by grabbing his forearm.

“ What?” 

“ I kome,” Iris said walking ahead and facing him, shoulders squared. “ But when time kome. I vill leave to kill Drrr. Niet one vill stop me. Not even you.” She put as much determination and willpower into her gaze as she could, knowing he would understand. 

He pulled back from her grip, turning so his shell was to her. “ Didn’t think I could,” he said

She followed him back to the lair, behind him every step of the way, neither one of them saying a word, the events of earlier still heavy between them. When they made it back the others were there, excluding April. 

“ Hey you came back,” Mikey cheered. “ Thought we lost you.” 

“ No...I…” Iris began. 

“ Hey,” Raphael said finally talking to her. “ There’s someone ya have to meet.” He gestured with his chin towards the back area of the lair. “ Com’on” 

“ Da,” she said, once again dutifully following. 

* * *

****

**Raphael**

“ Enter.” Master Splinter called from his room. Raphael stepped in first, making sure to gently push Iris back, and gestured with his lowered hand for her to stay where she was. Behind her, Leo stood arms folded. Passing by Leo, earlier while walking through the lair, Iris holding onto his arm, Raph resisted the urge to just turn and attack him. That smug, stupid face. Just oozing disappointed. 

They’d fought in the weight room, of course they had. Leo had approached Raph, asking questions and wanting answers, and Raph had flipped before he could get another word out. Like almost all their physical fights, at least inside the lair, Master Splinter had intervened, having arisen from his room to catch his stories, dodging a barbell on his way to the TV. 

Raph had come tumbling down afterwards, scrambling to get up and pose his counter attack, when Master Splinter had stop the fight with a single word. Commanding both of them to kneel, demanding what was happening. Leo had told him of course, speaking like a true “ Splinter” imposernater. Leading to a one on one session with Raph and Master Splinter. 

Raph had knelt in front of Master Splinter, head bowed waiting for permission to speak, boiling anger falling to a simmer, jaw already sore from where Leo had punched him. 

_ " How long were you going to wait until you told your brothers about this?"  _ Master Splinter had asked him. It was just the two of them in Splinter's study, and somehow Raph had felt more relieved than he thought he would. It wasn't very often he got to speak to his master and father in private, without Leo lingering, trying to soak up as much knowledge from Master Splinter as he could.

He hadn't answered immediately, more from stubbornness than not having an answer, prompting Master Splinter to call his name in warning. 

_ "Soon," _ he'd said shrugging. " _ Just figured it wasn't a big deal.” _  A lie, he wasn't ever planning on telling them, at least not until it come up. _ " Donny knew." _ And well Casey, but he didn't count.

_ " There is no need to lie to me Raphael." _

He'd broke then, under the weight of the situation and his father's gaze. While Raph could keep a

perpetually  angry, and somewhat straight face around his brother's to fool them into thinking everything was normal, Splinter would not be fooled. None of them could ever really, broad face lie to Splinter, he knew them to well.

_ " Never," _  he'd admitted lowering his head.

_ " Yet here we are." _

_ “ Yeah,”  _ admitting it out loud was strange, and faced with Splinter, he'd felt stupid.

_ “ Secrets, should not be kept from your bro---” _

_ " I know!" _ He'd barked, louder than extended, suddenly angry. He glanced up, warily catching sight of Splinter's face. He did not look angry, despite Raph's outburst  _ " I know..." _  he added, softer that time, voice barely above a whisper.

“  _ Brothers,”  _ Master Splinter had continued as if not interrupted by Raph’s outburst.  _ “ Even so I can understand why you did. Living, thriving so close. Being a team and working as one, it can feel as if there is nothing of your own. Nothing that you do not have to share. Even so, that is no excuse to lie to your brothers.”  _

_ “ I didn’t lie.”  _

_ “ A lie of omission is still a lie. Raphael.” _

_ “ Yes Sensai.” _

That was less than an hour ago, and here he was facing Splinter again, this time with Iris. 

“ Kneel my son,” Splinter said. Raphael knelt, hands balled on his knees head bowed. 

_ “ And the young woman?”  _ Splinter had asked him

_ " She's different…” _ Raph’s voice had trailed  off there, hoping that was enough, hoping Splinter would not require him to explain his feelings, to tell him everything that had happened between himself and Iris.

He should have known better.

So he told Splinter everything, about meeting Iris the first time, about pulling her from the flaming cargo truck. Covering in blood that wasn't her own, hair singed, mouth covered in some kind of guard. She’d awoken abruptly in his arms, punching him so hard he’d actually seen stars. She’d run and he’d chased her, screaming that he was only trying to help. He’d chased her until she was cornered, unfamiliarity with the city rooftops causing her to fall down a unstable roof shaft. He’d taken her momentary daze as the advantage he needed to pry off the guard covering her mouth, along with the broken shackles wrapped around her wrist and ankles. And he’s cursed, standing to leave, barely giving her a second glance, figuring his job was done, damsel saved, he could pick up Mikey’s stupid pizza and go home. 

It was a couple of weeks later, while he was on patrol on his assigned side of the city, and once again tasked with picking up dinner that he met her again. She’d broken into a convenience store, setting off the alarm, and huddled in a back alley eating it. Raph had approached expecting some two-bit robbers, surprised when she’d thrown a box of frosted flakes at him, then attacked while he was distracted. Screaming at him in a language he could not identify, much less understand, while he warded off her blows with one hand, and held the pizza in the other. Thinking, that for a human she was strong. 

_ “ Fuck. Ow. I’m not tryin. Stop. I’m not tryin to hurt ya. Just stop.”  _

Surprisingly she’d stopped.  _ “  _ _ Кто ты?”   _ She’d said.  _ “ Кто ты?”  _

_ “ English. I don’t understand ya.” _

She’d cocked her head to the side, curls falling, lips curled in a frown, her face displaying the telltale signs of confusion. Raph had recalled a confused puppy at that moment, it’s eyes wide as it watched, desperately trying to understand, and he’d wondered if it were his words that confused her, or his appearance, he’d gone with the ladder. 

_ “ Eng---lish,”  _ She’d said. 

“  _ Yes. Do ya speak it?”  _

“  _ English…”  _ She’d said again. 

“  _ Ok. This is goin no where. So I’m goin to go now. Enjoy the freebies. Next time... Next time ya won’t be so luckly alrite.”  _

_ “ Who arre you?”  _ She’d called before he could leave. Who, no what.  _ “ I see...you b---beforrre.”  _

He’d wanted to mention how he’d saved her life, and she’d repaid him by busting his lip, but kept quiet. 

_ “ Wherrre am I?”  _

_ “ New York,”  _ He’d mumbled breaking his bout of silence. 

_ “ New...Yorrk.”  _ She’d whispered looking around the alleyway as if it were something new and shiny, instead of a darkened trash heap, with filthy walls, and foul odor of rooting garbage and urine. “  _ Not RRRussia…?”  _

_ “ No,”  _ Raph had mumbled, “  _ Not even close.”  _

She’d nodded, as if understanding, through her head was still slightly cocked to the side. Raph had glanced hesitantly back at her, noting firstly that she had a strange doe-eyed, “ deer in headlights,” look, that made her appear both expressionless and scared at the same time. He’d noted second that her ripped and dirty clothes hung off her form like she’d hadn’t eaten in months, and to top it all off, she’d smelled horrible. Not that many humans in his opinion smelled particularly good, but she’d seemed to take the cake for one of the worst smelling so far. 

He’d stepped off the fire escape, noting the moment he did she’d turned as if to run. 

_ “ Wait,”  _ he’d called.  _ “ Take this, _ ” he’d placed the pizza on the ground, only fleetingly thinking about what Mikey and the others would do to him when he came home empty handed.  _  “ So ya don’t have to steal...again tonight.”  _

She still hadn't turned, and he didn't wait, instead going home empty handed, half lying to his brothers, and Mikey with the excuse that he’d dropped the pizza on the way home. 

Weeks went by, in which he, against his own reason kept a lookout for her on his patrols. No longer given pizza duty because of the last incident, he brought other food along, swiped from the lair and his own stash, telling himself as he left it placed in the same spot he’d left the pizza, that he was helping someone in need, and not feeding the rats and cats of New York, happy to find that when he came back through the food was gone. This had continued for a few more weeks until the night he went to place more food down, along with some clothes he snatched after watching April throw them casually in the donation bin near her apartment. 

She’d been waiting for him, leaned against the wall, not as dirty or as smelly as before, but still not completely clean. Without the dirt, soot and remnants of dried blood on her face, he could see her more clearly, the golden brown skin spattered with freckles, the slight less messy curly hair. She’d spoken before he  could, pulling herself off the wall to face where he’d stood in the shadows. 

_ “ I've seen you. Everytime you hide? Is Drrr. after you to?”  _

He’d had no idea what she was talking about. 

_ “ You arre like me yes?”  _

_ “ Lady,”  _ He’d said.  _ “ I'm nothin like you.”  _

_ “ Then why you  hide?”  _ Her tone was blunt, a pitch lower than a yell her accent deep. 

_ “ I should be askin you?”  _

She’d pointed to herself, appearing surprised that he even had to ask. Yet he had. From where he’d stood, she seemed normal enough for him. She’d smelled a little weird sure, but what human didn’t. Even April and Casey had their moments, but nothing shot completely out at him. Yet there she was speaking as if they stood on the same level of weirdness. Not thinking he’d stepped out of the shadows into the glare of the hanging lights above, giving her a full view in case she didn’t get a good look before. Again she’d cocked her head to the side, giving him that same look she’d had weeks before. Still she’d examined him, starting with his feet, and journeying up to his face, giving him an expressionless look. 

_ “ I see,”  _ She’d said surely as she turned to walk away. 

_ “ Aye,”  _ he’d called.  _ “ What are ya---don’t just walk away. What do ya---”  _

She’d spun on him, doe eyes narrowing, full lips curled down into a frown. Her features changing almost completely. The way she’d looked at him in that moment screamed for him not to pursue, that the conversation, and interaction was over for that night. Still he’d gone about the same routine for weeks more, leaving food, clothes, occasionally seeing her in the same spot, but only when she came out of hiding, only when she wanted to be seen. And he hadn’t pushed her.  She was like a stray cat, quick to take food, yet slow to trust. 

Eventually she would be there waiting for him, sometimes wearing the clothes he’d brought, her arms and hands always bandaged by long strands of clothes and wrap. He never asked why and she never offered to tell. 

He admitted, after a while he'd lost count of the amount of times he'd snuck out to see her, or glimpsed her stealing on his patrols, before letting her conveniently get away. He told Splinter about how they eventually  met on the rooftops, where he first would sit while she ate, then later struggle through conversations hindered by a language barrier. She was curious, always asking him questions about his life, his brothers, but never about his appearance. About this appearance she never seemed to care. Neither did she offer up any information about herself. Even sitting through his rants and complaints on days when his brother's, usually Leo, become to much for him.

_ " She treats me like I'm normal,"  _ Raph had said. Which was more than he could say about the rest of the outside world. Any other person with the exception of April, Casey, and Vern treated him like he was a freak, a monster, screaming, crying, pissing themselves, when they actually caught a glimpse of him, saw what he was. He didn't have to mention how rejected he felt from the members of the opposite sex that saw him, even in the shadows. Not that humans were his favorite either, he usually found them to be weak and annoying, but he did get lonely, believe it or not, and frustrated, and the lack of female presence was an actual problem that all the brothers had. He wasn't like Leo who could bypass any need for company with mediation and endless training to become the ultimate Master Splinter Jr. Or Donny, who could study, experiment and invent all day. Even Mikey, seemed to have a way to shrug off his frustrations, even if it amounted to endless video game sessions and bugging everything that moved in the cave.

_ “ She’s lookin for this Dr. plans to kill em for the sick things  he’s done to er, and the people she's cared about. I wanted to help.” _

She was as broken and lonely as he was. On a mission and determined, looking for someone or something to patch up the holes. He’d offered his help as soon as she’d finally told him why she was in New York, and showed him her metal arms and hands, the scars on her flesh. 

_ “ So I gave er a way to contact us if she needed help,”  _ Raph had explained.  _ “ It was the only thing she would accept. So yeah..."  _ He’d said, once he'd finished most of the story to Splinter. Splinter who hadn't, moved or spoken through the entire explanation, finally raised one hand in silent approval.

Then Splinter had asked the question he was dreading.

_ " Are you in love with her my son?" _

“ Enter young lady,” Master Splinter said gesturing Iris inside. Slowly, cautiously Iris made her way inside, her footsteps light against the ground, until she stood beside him. Lowering her head until her hair fell in her face she bowed, hands clasped at her front. Raph watched, his heart pounding, expecting her to flip at any moment, or for Master Splinter to disapprove somehow. 

Instead Master Splinter leaned forward, pressing the crook of his forefinger under her chin, until their gazes met. “ You have the eyes,” he said, “ Of one far beyond your years. Troubled and tortured. You’ve seen many wrongs, felt much pain. Are old are you my dear?”

“ Eighteen,” she said. 

“ I see,” Splinter said still examining her face. Raph knew he was inspecting every scar and crevice, piecing her together without her ever having to say a word. He let her go, folding his hands  behind his back, as he nodded. 

“ Our home is open to you young one, and we will help you in any way we can. As you find your way down this path you are on.” 

“ I---” Iris began, but stopped, bowing instead. Raph watched her, uncertainty eating away at him.

“ Is something the matter?” Master Splinter said in the tone of voice Raph recognized as his expressing concern, and opening up the floor for her to speak freely. 

“ It is nothing...I expect…” she paused, “ something...how you say? Differrrent?” 

Master Splinter chuckled, “ Rejection?” He shook his head. “ We are in no place to cast rejection upon you, solely on the contents in which you have control. This my dear,” he pointed to her heart, “ Is all that matters. All else is irrelevant.” 

Iris’s face was unreadable to Raph as she stared at Master Splinter lips slightly agape, and he wondered for a moment if she even understood everything he’d said. Then without another word she bowed abruptly and left the room without being dismissed. Both Raph and Master Splinter watching her exit, her pace little less than a jog. 

Humming as he walked around his table, Master Splinter patted Raph’s shoulder. “  She will get along nicely here. Yes. Yes,” he hummed. “ Now if you need me I will be watching my stories.” 

* * *

**April**

  


“ Thanks April.” 

“ No problem,” April said gathering up her stuff and reading to leave. Already she could feel a headache coming on from the events of the past few days. She continued walking heading for the front door, Hoping no one stopped her again. 

“ Yeah, I’m holding the interview in the TCRI building Tuesday.” 

April slowed her pace, falling into a walk as she crossed the desks to where the two employees were talking. Recognizing one of them as Carrie from the equipment department. 

“ The amount of precautions they want us to take is ridiculous. Like who is this guy the President??” 

“ Heard he makes prosthetics or some shit. I don’t know. Anyway how's Timmy, Kayla must have her hands full---” Carrie said. April slid into step in front of them, smiling as she waited for them to acknowledge her. Carrie turned first, the male employee second. Carrie smiled. “ April. I haven’t seen you in weeks. How are you?” 

“ Fine. Great actually. Super busy,” April said adjusting her bag“ I just covered the museum story for the new girl.” 

“ Oh yeah, my son wants to go to that new exhibit, How was it?” The male employee asked. 

“ Beautiful,” April said, “ Plate tectonics  are always so...fascinating” 

“ Ah. I’m going to have to check it out.” 

“ Totally,” April said. “ As a matter of fact, I got two free tickets,” She dug through her bag, pulling out the tickets. “ For you and your son…” 

“ Timmy,” the male employee said. “ Are you sure?” 

“ Totally,” April said, “ Like I said. Busy, busy. They will probably expire before I can get back over there. So they might as well be put to good use.”

“ Well thank you. Timmy will be ecstatic.” 

“ No problem,” April said, “ Anything for a fellow coworker. Anyway, my real reason for bothering you. I overheard you saying something about the interview with Dr. Lukin. I’m a huge fan of his work and humanitarian efforts in the field of prosthetics and cancer research. Do you mind telling me what time? I would love to watch the live uncut interview.” 

“ Yeah sure. Let me get the information for you.” 

___________________

“ Donnie. Donnie,” April called as she rushed into the lair, throwing her pack onto the ground beside his chair. He was sitting at his monitors, staring at what April could only assume were the files from Dr. Lukin. He was in the middle of typing something, a noticeable smile on his face, before April came in beside him. 

" April? April wants going on?” 

“ I got a date and time for when Dr. Lukin is going to make his next appearance.” 

“ Wow,” Donnie said. “ How? That information has been impossible to get. Locus and I have been trying to pinpoint his position for hours.”

April smiled. “ I have my ways. Where is Iris?” 

“ With Raph in the weight room.” 

“ Be right back Donnie,” April called crossing the lair, passing Leo who was training, and Mikey in the kitchen eating pizza. Mikey called out to April, and she smiled, gesturing for him to give her a minute. She climbed the ladder leading up to the weight room stopping at the side entrance at the sound of Raph grunting. Walking slowly she approached and then stopped. 

Raph sat on the end of the bench press machine, Iris beside him, examining a cut on his cheek.  His fingers were clasping and unclasping against his thighs, and his breath was heavy. Still he didn’t pull away from Iris’s administrations. 

“ You sound like sheep. Saying same thing every time. But meaning nothing.” Iris said bluntly. To emphasize her point she mimicked a sheep. Raph’s scowl deepened, but he said nothing. Walking to the table sitting beside the bench press, Iris lifted up a rag and a bottle of alcohol. “ It is no fine.” 

“ It’s goin have to be. It’s not like Splinter jr. is ever gonna change. Always trying to control. Like we don’t have our own lives. Like I would really bring around someone we couldn’t trust.” 

April continued to watch, part of her knowing she should turn around and walk away, yet part of her yearning to stay and watching the foreign interaction. With the exception of herself and Casey she’d never seen another human get this close to Raph. Somehow she felt like she was watching an intimate affair, and she was the one interrupting. 

“ Let me see cheek,” Iris demanded, one hand going under Raph’s chin before he could stop it. He tried to jerk away but she held firm. Cloth drenched in alcohol she pressed it to his cheek , gaining a whispered curse. 

“ Hush,” Iris scolded, “It not hurrrt.” 

“ Ya hands are cold,” he complained. 

Iris’s hands continued in their motions, “ You should not fight family, forrr me,” Iris said. “You have own life, but I strrranger. When I gone, zey vill still be herrre.” 

He pulled his face back from Iris’s grasp, grabbing her wrist when she tried to pull his face from her grasp. Frowning he said,“ What you goin somewhere?” He sounded worried and angry all at once, his eyebrow ridges furrowing beneath his mask.

She shook her head. “ No.  It is just…” April watched her face as she searched for the words, large gray eyes moving from Raph’s face to the floor, and back again. She’d pulled her mass of curly hair back into a ponytail leaving only the bangs revealing lines of scars on her cheeks, and underneath her jaw, and scatter of freckles that lay in between. 

She shook her head, “ Nevermind. Now I like you. Sheep. Angry sheep. Baaa.” She grinned, and to April’s surprise, a small smile crept across Raph’s face, which he quickly tried to hide by turning his head. She continued making sheep noises, pressing herself closer to Raph, one knee resting in the space between his legs as she pressed her hands into the ridges at his side. 

He shifted back, stifling a laugh, “Aye cut that out. Ya hands cold.”

“ Baaa. Baa- Angry rrred sheep.” 

April stepped fully into the room, coughing to catch their attention, kicking herself mentally for not having made her presence known sooner, when things were less awkward. 

Raph was the first to react, pulling his hands from where they rested at Iris’s waist in his half hearted attempt to push her off, and scooting back away from her. Iris was slower to move, her hands pausing, and her body going tense as if she was waiting for attack. 

“ April!” Raph exclaimed pushing away from where he sat and standing, leaving Iris standing where she was. 

“ We were just um…” 

April grinned, raising one eyebrow as she peered between the two of them. She placed a hand on her hip. 

“ Um…” Raph continued to stutter, his face redder than usual. 

“ Is there problem,” Iris asked, all traces of her former demoner gone, replaced with a steadfast readiness for action that would have been scary to April if she wasn’t used to seeing it with the brothers. 

“ I have news,” April said. “ On Dr. Lukin’s whereabouts.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Numchucks and brownies for everyone. 
> 
> Comments and Kudos welcomed!!!


	5. Where to Start

**Locus**

“ Effing gene fest,” Locus mumbled under her breath as she held her phone in one hand, a pen in the other, and balanced a large spiral notebook on her lap. In the notebook, scribbled in almost illegible font was notes from the text she was translating. “ Russian why does everything have to be in Russian?” 

 

She’d been at it for hours, after getting home, settling in and talking to her parents, and family. The usual bouts of conversation had been exchanged. ‘ How has school been going?’ ‘ No trouble?’ Do you have boyfriend?’ On and on. Now she was finally alone, warding off any more coming conversations with the half lie that she was exhausted from her trip over. When in reality she wanted to work on finishing translating and decoding the files she had from Dr. Lukin’s lab. Now that she had help from one of Iris’s elusive friends, things were going way more smoother than when she was alone. 

 

“ Live testing. Gene splicing,” she read softly to herself as she ran the tip of her pen over her notes. “Bonding human and animal DNA,” she clicked her tongue against her teeth in disappointment. She’d read countless scientific articles on the the process, seen a smaller scale process of it done herself, and it never worked. It was surprising scientists were still trying. The molecular bonds between humans and their unique animal ancestors were so thinned out by years and years of evolution finding the unique strand that unwound the entire sequence would be darn near impossible, or at least way ahead of their current scientific level, in her opinion. 

 

_ And what the hell is a Project Renaissance... _ It was mention once in a footnote in the hundreds of pages she’d read so far, and even then it was an reference to something else. She’d scoured the files since seeing it, looking for another mention only to come up short. She was about to text Donatello and mention it to him as something to keep a lookout for when her phone rang. She answered it without hesitation putting the caller on speaker. 

 

“ Please tell me this is a question about genetics,” she said. 

 

“ Niet,” Iris said. “ April knows Dr. Lukin’s location. 

 

“ What? This soon...that doesn't make any sense.” At least not the Dr. Lukin she’d been tracking all this time. He’d been nearly impossible to catch, and all his reveals had been completely on his terms. There was no way this one wasn't any different. Locus bit into the end of her pen. He had to be trying to get Iris to come out of hiding. 

 

“ He has an live  interview in two days  in the TCRI building, I’ve got access to the live feed,” April said. “ I’m hoping he’ll give more information.” 

 

“ I go, take him out.” 

 

“ That’s it,” Locus said, “ Go execute the guy in front of a bunch of cameras, that’s just asking for trouble. I’m pretty sure what April is suggesting here is an actual plan. I don’t know, maybe hacking the feed, or…”

 

“ Way ahead of you on that one,” Donatello cut in. “ April just needs to get close enough to the equipment administering the live feed, then hopefully I can piggyback onto his equipment and track him from there. That is if he carries a trackable piece of equipment.”

 

“ What right minded scientist doesn't,” Locus said. She could practically feel Iris seething through the other end of the phone, and judging by her silence she either agreed, or disagreed with the plan, it was hard to tell sometimes when it came to Iris. “ You should take Iris as backup, just in case,” Locus said. Anything to make Iris think she was being held down. A held down, restricted Iris, set on a mission, was a impulsive Iris. Impulsive Iris jumped into battle, without a second thought, pushing, always pushing until she either won or gave out. 

 

_ Why does she fuckking have to be like this... _ Wiling to die for someone other than herself. Did Iris not know that wasn't how the world worked? But knowing Iris the way she did, how transparent she was, Locus knew Iris hadn’t forgotten. The main reason she pushed on  so impatiently was partially for Locus’s sake. 

 

“ Not only that,” Locus said, “ But---” she stopped herself. She wanted to mention that they had help now, that they did not have to go in alone, but that would have been no consolation for Iris. If anything it would have been another reason why she would want to run away. Of what Locus knew of Iris’s past, help never ended well on the helper’s part. 

 

“ I’ll see you tomorrow night yeah? We can go out for shawarma like we planned before. Maybe I can finally meet this mysterious boyfriend of yours.” 

 

“ Neit my---” 

 

“ I know. I know,” Locus laughed. “ Just making sure you were listening.” She paused gripping the phone a little tighter, her palms suddenly sweaty. “ Promise me you won’t run away…” Locus swallowed hard. “ At least not without me. Not again.” 

 

Almost a full minute of silence crowded the line before Iris responded with a quiet, “ Da.” The sound so soft Locus barely heard it. 

 

“ Donatello,” Locus called out, sensing Iris’s departure and dreading the silence that came with it. Locus laid back on her bed, arms and legs spread eagle. Phone laying on her stomach. “ So do you have a a genetics question for me?” 

  
  
  


“ Would it help?” 

 

“ No not really. Help me get my mind off it, maybe.” 

 

“ How about a joke then?” He asked hesitantly. 

 

“ Sure,” Locus agreed. 

 

“ Oh. Ok,” Donatello said sounding a bit surprised that Locus had actually said yes. She cracked a small smile. Already ready to laugh and he hadn't even told the stupid joke yet. 

 

“ Ok. Got one,” he said, “  What did the football player/genetics student use to find the genotypes

possible from a particular cross after failing three times using the branching Method,” he asked, teh words coming out so quikcly she’d barely made sense of them as he was speaking. 

 

“ I don’t know what?”

 

“ A "punt-it" Square.” He chuckled. “ Get it?”

 

Laughter bubbled up in her throat, wheezing first through her nose then sliding through up her throat and out her open mouth. She laughed so hard her side started hurting. 

 

“ Fuck. Did you make that up yourself,” She asked wiping the tears away with the backs of her hands, hoping that they had all sprung from all the laughter she was doing, and not some other bottled away place. 

 

“ No, sadly not,” Donatello admitted, “ Mikey’s the jokester of the family not me. But the internet is always a good place to start.” 

 

“ No shit?” Locus said still warding off laughter.  “ So I’ve been meaning to ask. What campus are you on? And where were you on Frederick Alice’s book tour?” 

 

“ Did not get to see him in person unfortunately,” Donatello admitted, “ But I did stream his Ted talk. Exciting stuff.” 

 

“ And your campus?” Locus asked after waiting a long moment in silence. 

 

“ No campus,” Donatello said, “ I’m not exactly suited for the college life.” 

 

Locus held back a curse that was threatening to escape her mouth. Now that she was home, she needed to lay low on the foul talk, at least until she got back to her dorm on campus. 

 

“ So what private tutor, online … like I literally watched you crack a code customly created by one of Russia’s greatest engineers in under an hour, and when you finished you said, and I quote, “ That was fairly difficult….Fairly...like the fuck. No finishing your complex analysis  homework while faded on dank and five bottles of pumpkin flavored vodka is fairly difficult.” 

 

“ Your analogies are interesting,” she could hear the amusement in his voice, and it made Locus smile. At least he found her jokes funny. 

 

“ So what you taught yourself all this stuff?” 

 

“ Basically yeah,” Donatello said. 

 

“ So what about your brothers are they self taught geniuses too?” 

 

“ Well yes and no. We’re all good at something, my thing just happens to be science.” 

 

“ Ok. So age you were when you conducted your first science project. Mine was five.” 

 

“ Ah...three,” Donatello said. 

 

“ Bullshit,” Locus called. 

 

“ Believe me or not,” Donatello said. 

 

“ So you goin to tell me what it was or not?” Locus prodded. 

 

“ It was nothing really,” he said nonchalantly,  and she could hear the shrug in his voice. 

 

“ Which is not a reason why you shouldn’t tell me.” 

 

“ It was just a simple study,” Donatello said. “ On electrical currents,” he paused. “ I tried to...bring a cockroach back to life using a combination of wires I found and some batteries.” 

 

“ And did it work?” 

 

“ No,” Donatello said. “ But I did get my first lesson on how electrical currents worked.” 

 

“ Fair enough,” Locus said still smiling. “ Trial and error and all that.” 

 

“ And you?” 

 

“ My first experiment was with my brother,” Locus said the words slipping out faster than she intended them to. She much preferred for him to do most of the talking when it came to memories, having to think about her brother...it was almost too much. 

 

“ He was doing a project for school. He let me help. It was kinda stupid, he’d given me baking soda and vinegar with food dye to trick me into thinking I was actually doing something, while he worked with the dangerous chemicals. Gave me goggles, gloves, the apron and everything. Highly flammable materials, he’d called it. Even told me keep it a secret from our folks.” She chuckled recalling the memory, how’d he’d grinned down at her, his dark bushy eyebrows inclined up in that weird way did when he smiled. 

 

“ In the right conditions they can be,” Donatello said. “ He had a right be cautious.”

 

Cautious. How she wished he were here with her now to tell her how stupid and careless she was being. Not to mention selfish. 

 

“ You don't get that as a kid," Locus said. "Everything's just fun and games. Somehow you don’t think about it...until shit hits the fan...and it's too late. Then baking soda is no longer just baking soda, and vinegar is no longer just vinegar...and you can never go back.” 

 

In that way she sympathized and understood Iris. She could never go back either. No matter how hard she tried. Did she even think about it anymore? Did she look back? 

 

“ Progress is like that sometimes,” Donatello said softly. 

 

“ Yet we still keep going,” Locus sighed. 

 

_ What’s that say about us?  _

 

__________________________

**Iris**

 

They were playing a game of cat and mouse. Back and forth, round and round, pulling more and more people in as they went. Innocent people, who had nothing to do with Iris’s fight. People who were holding her back from doing what she was destined to do. 

 

Part of her knew she should leave again, this time letting nothing, no one pull her back. Waiting, watching, letting her enemies  get the upper hand was not something she was used to. 

 

_ In zis game of kat and mouse, I mouse.  _ Hiding and afraid, waiting, always waiting for it’s chance to escape, and if the past was any indication she was going to lose. She always lost. One way or another...she always...

 

Iris folded  her arms across her chest suddenly feeling very cold despite the heat of the room. Who would have to die this time in order for her to get even remotely close to what she wanted. Who would she have to sacrifice? 

 

Across from her April sat back in her seat, folding her arms, “ Sach, my father, Baxter, and now Dr. Lukin this...why does it always come back around full circle?” 

 

“ Father scientist?” Iris asked sensing the change in April’s mood. 

 

“ Yeah,” April admitted. “ He actually wanted to help people. Make the world a better place.” 

 

Iri’s tapped her finger against her arms, noting how the metal sounded tapping together,imagining how distinctly different it would have sounded it it were flesh against flesh instead. Science being used for good? Scientist proclaiming to do good. That was nothing new, and yet at the end of the day they always did the opposite. Yes their intentions may be pure, but the outcome...and the means to achieve that outcome...well to Iris the record always showed the truth. 

 

“ Zey arrre all same,” Iris said. 

 

“ What?” 

 

“ Men like father did zis,” she lifted her arms, moving each finger on her hand individually. “ In name of good. All science touch is bad. All scientist is bad.” 

 

“ Science,” April said standing. “ Science made the turtles. My father died making sure scientist like Sach and Baxter and Lukin wouldn’t win.”  Her eyes were slightly wet, and her lips parted as she panted. It was the signs of anger, and like all times anger was directed in her direction, Iris tensed, ready for attack. Iris lowered her head, eyes drifting to the space between where her hands lay. In a way it was sad to Iris that April was so blind she could not see, had not experienced enough suffering at the hands of men like her own father to understand just how bad they were. 

 

Maybe in some way that was a good thing. The world need not be filled with more people like Iris. Unable to see the good, after experiencing the bad. Closed to any other opinions. 

 

Even now, as far from Dr. Lukin as she was, Iris could feel the scalpel against her skin, the pinprick of the needle in her veins. They’d tortured her and called it science, taken her apart piece by piece, waited until her bones mended and her organs healed and called it progress...and in the end looked upon her tainted, rotting form and declared her perfect.  _ “ The Eve of Science,”  _ Dr. Lukin had announced.  Iris gritted her teeth, she couldn’t accept that, she just couldn't. 

 

The blow never came and Iris glanced up, hair falling in her eyes to see the brothers had gathered, making a makeshift wall of shells and flesh around her, everything in their stance screaming they were ready to defend. 

 

_ Even… _

 

She moved her eyes over Raph’s form. The hands braced over his weapons. The raw concern. 

 

“ Everything alright over here April,” Leonardo said. 

 

“ Yeah, everythings fine. No need to worry guys.” 

 

Iris hadn’t even heard them move. So quick they were to defend what was precious to them. How did it feel? She wondered to be protected so vigorously. Without having made a sound of warning, a squeak of protest? To have someone protect you by sure instinct alone? Her gaze drifted over April’s face. Smooth seemingly without worry or scar. She was pretty, one could even argue beautiful. Not that Iris knew a lot about what made something beautiful. Her world had always been spotted and marked with imperfection, often she was told when something was beautiful and left to accept the fact.  There was just something natural and not completely explainable about the way April presented herself. 

 

“ You sure angelcakes,” Michealogo said. 

 

Iris tore her eyes away from the scene, a phantom, unfamiliar pain twirling in her chest, making her clench. She stood, pushing the chair noisily away from the table as she did. She offered no apology nor a warning as she left the kitchen and retreated to the infirmary. 

 

“ Let her go Raph.” She heard Leonardo say behind her through the roaring gush of blood in her ears. 

 

Inside the infirmary she stripped off her shirt and peeled back the gauze at her side to get a closer look at her wound. It was closed but not completely secure. When it did finally heal there  would be a scar, there was always a scar, no matter how quickly she healed compared to most humans. 

 

But her wound was not where the pain from she felt earlier was coming from. She pressed down on the wound just in case, drawing a hiss from her slightly parted lips from the sudden surge of pain. Frowning she threw away the gauze, put the shirt back on and sat on the floor opposite the side of the cot facing the door. It was becoming more and evident that she was not suited to function in a social environment. 

 

They’d tried in Dr. Lukin’s lab. Introducing her to other experiments, all for observation of course. They would put her in a room of five or six others, male and female, about her same age, and leave her to interact. In her rare outing from her cell, she’d seen how they interacted with each other, forming groups in which they huddled, socializing and enjoying each others company. And some part of her longed for that kingship, even though she knew it could never truly be possible. 

 

But it had always ended the same, the moment the doors closed, and they were left alone with her they attacked, piling on her all at once, biting and kicking, throwing blows. It had become quickly evident to Iris after the third time of the same occurrence with the same outcome that not only did Dr. Lukin expect that outcome, but the others looked forward to having their opportunity to hurt her. They’re plans becoming more and elaborate  each time she was thrown into a cell with them. She never fought back, and they only stopped when Dr. Lukin made them, which was usually after Iris had fallen unconscious, all knowledge of what they’d done to her lost in darkness. She would wake up in her own cell, patched up, tied to her cot, Dr. Lukin beside her running a hand over her shaved head. 

 

_ “  _ _ Они боятся , что они не понимают,”  _ He would say, “Я понимаю тебя.” 

 

She pulled her knees up to her chest, closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall. Yes, she did have this feeling once before...when she laid on the cold white floor of the common room cell, blood slipping down the contours of her face, as she watched the other experiments gather together, all united under one common cause. It didn't matter that, that cause was hurting her, at the end of it all, while she lay in her cell helpless and alone, with only the Dr. to comfort her, they had each other and their meetings to look forward to. 

 

_ “Niet you do not underrrstand me. Yourrr vorrrds verrre only spit on my cheek,  _ Iris thought as she remembered the Doctor’s cold palm against her scalp. She hated his touch, yet at the time it was comforting enough when she had nothing else. 

 

Was it bad she longed for the touch now? 

 

No that was all in past. Her thirst to move forward had brought her this far, she could not let the demons of her past pull her back. 

 

__________________________________

 

**April**

 

“ So what you're saying is they have a weakness” April asked her eyes moving away the dissected forms of men and women displayed on Donnie’s screen, to a video of abnormally shaped cells splitting, and then dissolving. 

 

“ This,” Locus explained, her voice ringing loud from the speakers, a mouse pointer circled the display of the cells. “ Is a sample of Iris’s cells. Cell division, mitosis...blah blah. Then cellular deterioration of the parent cell. Right back around to cellular division, then deterioration. An endless cycle.” 

 

Another video came up on the screen, this one of cells dissolving faster than they could split.

 

“ And this is a sample from one of the Dr. agents,” Locus said. “ Like Iris, high senses, increased strength, heightened durability...healing. But without the enhanced cellular division, and the ability to turn it on and off, and the more they use it, the more likely they are to---” Locus paused. “ For lack of a better word...turn into a steaming pile of---fleshy mush, question mark?” 

 

April looked to Donnie for confirmation. 

 

“ Pretty much,” Donnie said shrugging. “ I’ve constructed a 3D representation if you need a reference.” 

 

“ I’m good,” April said, already imagining sticky piles of human goo in various puddles. “ But thanks.” 

 

“ How long have you known about this again?” Leo asked. 

 

“ Trust remember,” Locus said, “ Can’t just spill all the beans on the first meeting. And to answer your question, since before I met Iris. I’d tracked hundreds of cargo vehicles with the Dr.’s agents inside.” 

 

April glanced  over another picture this one of a cargo truck turned on it’s side, flaming, burnt bodies scatter about, the  back of the truck torn open. She knew without asking that the cargo truck on screen was the one Iris had come from. 

 

April glanced over to where Iris was on the floor below the computer station,sweat pouring down her skin as she held herself in a modified plank which looked to April to have all her weight bearing on her shoulders and legs. She shook as she held that position, eyes closed, and jaw clenched. Continuing since the incident the day before isolating herself, and ignoring everyone including Raph, despite their best attempts to get her attention. 

 

_ Is she always like this?   _ April thought. 

 

“ According to my calculations an army that big is enough to take over the entire city.” Donnie said. 

 

“ If they didn't die as quickly as they were made,” Locus cut in. 

 

_ Except for Iris.  _

 

" Even so," Donnie said. 

 

“ Then priority number one should be keeping her away from the Dr.” Leo said. 

 

_ She’s the key to everything...and she knows it... _

 

“ Ha. Yeah no. That is not an option. Wish it was. But Iris is not going to go for that.” 

 

And yet she still wished to pursue the Dr. Even knowing what she knew...knowing that if he got her…April couldn't imagine. 

 

Where Iris lay still holding up her body weight, Raph approached, kneeling down in front of her. April couldn't hear what they were saying, but she could only guess it has something to do with earlier. Iris sprung up on her hunches so that she and Raph faced each other. 

 

Iris punched Raph. The sound echoing through the lair. April flinched. 

 

“ What the fuck!?’ Coughed Raph holding his side. 

 

“  You arrre all sheep, ” Iris said standing over Raph. Appearing big for someone not even half the size of Raph. 

 

_ Sheep...? _

 

“ And you are biggest sheep of them all.”  They stared at each other for what felt like hours, the lair quiet enough that April could hear Raph's heavy breathing, the rush of water from the slide, and the static from Locus's phone.

 

" Hey--" April began, sensing a fight, not expecting either or them, especially not Raph to back down. She'd seen enough fights between him and his brothers to know things never ended without someone getting hurt, or something getting broken. And judging by how hard she'd hit Raph---" Guys..." 

Iris turned her attention to where April stood, breaking her glare with Raph. Blush coated her cheeks reddening her face. Snearing she spun on her heel, turning her back to Raph and retreating to yet another part of the lair. 

 

_What was...?_

 

“ Dude,” Mikey laughed running over to Raph and attempting to pick him up from the floor, only to be pushed away. “  Remind me never to get on her bad side, sheesh.” 

 

“ Look," Locus said pulling them back to the conversation, "We’ve been in this situation before...Iris has been in this situation before...she’s seen lives destroyed, innocent people killed..all because of the Dr. No matter what she says, no matter what she does, she will use any excuse to run. And honestly...her going at it alone... is one of the worst things that can happen right now. Not just for her, but for the entire city.”

 

" Dont worry," April said studying gaze still on Raph, huffing as he paced across the floor. Suddenly she was reminded of his face the night they'd found Iris, the way he'd argued in her favor...how he'd reacted when he thought she was going to leave again. 

 

He knew it to. 

 

_ Running because she's afraid of people getting hurt...pushing people away so they will let her. _ _ How many people have died to make you this way? How much have you lost? _    _Does Raph know...is that why...? Why he looks at her that way?_ April shook off the thoughts. 

 

_Not now,_  She told herself.  _Not while the city is is trouble again._

 

 

April turned away from the display of Raph's distress, a little disheartened that there was nothing she could do to help at the moment. 

 

" We're not going to let her." 

 

* * *

**Raph**

 

Raph’s side was sore. He touched it briefly as he walked back into the lair from patrols, hanging up his weapons and settling in for the rest of the night. It has been a slow run, no leads on the Dr. and a short supply of things to punch. Unfortunate, and adding more to his frustration when he desperately needed things to punch. Still irritated from earlier, he blamed Iris for his current mood. He was only trying to help. Not that Iris understood the word.

_ You are all sheep.  _ What the fuck did that mean anyway? More Russian nonsense. Code for stupid? He wouldn't know, because she refused to talk to him. Fuck talking. She refused to even be in the same space as him. 

 

The nerve she had. 

 

Had she been one of his brothers, he would have pummeled her. 

 

“ Italian sweet,” Mikey cheered pushing past Raph to run to April who held several trays of food. 

 

“ One box Mikey,” April warned swinging the other trays away from his grabbing hands. 

 

“ Ah but Raph’s not even hungry. Look he’s walking away.” 

 

Where was she anyway. Had she run while he was gone? He gleamed at the clock. Only a few hours until sunup. If she had run, would he have enough time to find her? He shook his head grumbling. He sniffed the air. It was hard to smell anything under the scent of his brothers, April and the generally humid, musty scent of the lair. And the scent of the food wasn't helping either. 

 

_ I swear to fucking...if she's run again over a stupid argument...after she promised--- _

 

“ Hey Raph.” 

 

He turned. April shoved three trays of Italian into one of his large hands, and three ice cold orange Crush in the other. “ Take these to Master Splinter and Iris for me,” she smiled knowingly. 

 

" Wher--" 

 

" Watching TV," she said. " I would, but someone has to keep Mikey away from the desert." To emphasize her point she swatted at Mikey's reaching hand. Mikey whimpered. 

 

“ Ah. Sure…” Raph stuttered looking away from April’s all knowing gaze and grin that just screamed she knew what Raph was up to, and who he was worried about. “ Watchin TV you said?” 

 

“ Yep,” she said still smiling. 

 

“ Alrite. Be right back.” Reaffirming his grip on the trays he trailed off on his mission, making a point to walk like he was just handed an annoying chore. 

 

Sure enough they were just where April had said. Master Splinter with a cup of steaming tea in hand,  his nose and ears twitching in interest as he watched Hulu rerun of his weekly stories. Iris beside him on the couch, a cup of steaming tea balanced on her pulled up knees, head cocked to the side as she observed. Raph stopped behind the couch. 

 

“ Ah. April brought food,” he said said lifting the trays. Master splinter turned acknowledging Raph, his ears perking and his nose twitching, while Iris kept her gaze forward. 

 

“ Delightful my son. I must thank her.” Master Splinter stood, straightening his robes. “ I was just introducing Iris to the Young and the Breathless. Already Iris has expressed a keen interest in Darren,” Master Splinter shook his head, as if this was the gravest of news. “ I made the same mistake before getting this far,” he stroked his hanging goatee, eyes closing in delight. “ It is a good thing Netflix has seasons one through three. She has much catching up to do.” 

 

“ Yeah,” Raph mumbled. “ Good thing.”

__

“ I should go thank April,” Master Splinter said taking a tray from Raph’s hand. “ It is not everyday we get such delightful treats.” 

 

He shuffled off, leaving Raph alone with Iris, and a blinking TV. The leftover trays of food warming the palm of one hand, and the sodas cooling the palm of the other. Standing so close now he could smell her over the food and the lair, even his own scent, and the smell somehow calmed him of the anxiety he felt earlier at the thought that she’d left. She smelled calmer now, settled, and he guessed Master Splinter had something to do with it. He always had a way of calming people down, with just a few wise words and cups of tea. 

 

“ Hey.” Raph called growing tired of the silence and waiting for her to acknowledge him. 

 

She didn't turn, seemingly entranced with the display on screen. But by the way her shoulders had tensed he knew she’d heard him. He pressed the cold surface of one soda against the back of her neck. A tactic Raph  used more than once on Mikey when trying to get his attention. She spun glaring. 

 

“ Vhat---?” He dropped a tray in her lap, sat and opened his own box in one swift movement. She stared at his still steaming food with wide eyes, before opening her own tray and frowning down at it. 

 

“ What you got somethin against the Italian now to?”

 

Frown deepening she she shoved her hand into the box pulling out a handful of pasta and shoving it messily into her mouth. “ It fine,” she snapped through a mouth full of food.  Raph grimaced, it was worst than watching Mikey eat. Still she had an excuse. The finer uses of fork and spoon was probably not a big teaching point in the lab she came from. And judging by how fast she ate, neither was a steady supply of food a thing they gave her either. His fist tightened against his thigh, she acted like a starving animal. 

 

Watching her, his mind drifted to his childhood. Even when food was scarce, they always had enough to eat, even if that meant Master Splinter went hungry, starvation was never something they had to endure. 

 

He growled under his breath imagining a smaller, starved Iris. Bone thin and covered in scars, huddled in a corner of a white cell.   _ Sick bastard... _

 

Iris cursed, snapping Raph back to attention. He'd wondered off again, thinking about the past, injustices he could not stop. It was a bad habit he had, one he was hard set to break. 

 

“Eh?"

 

She’d turned her attention to him, gray eyes narrowed. “ You starrre at me.” She said bluntly. “ All day. Starre, starre.Why? You have vorrds to say?"

 

“ What?” 

 

“ Did I say wrrrong vorrrd? Starrre...like--” She proceeded to demonstrate, focusing on his face, furrowing her eyebrows and frowning. “ This is vorrd yes?” 

 

He’d been staring? He hadn’t realized it. Was it that obvious? Or was it just obvious to Iris? Did everyone else see it too? 

 

“ Or is…” She trailed off her sentence sliding into silence. It was a habit she had when she could not find the words  in English to match what she wanted to say. 

 

" Oh so ya talkin to me now?" He was being a shit, and he didn't care. " Sure ya don't want to hit me again. Maybe try and prove ah point." 

 

Shaking her head she lifted up a stack of napkins off the table, replacing them with  her now half eaten tray, while Raph had yet to even touch his food. 

 

“ Turn on next..” She mumbled into the napkins as she cleaned her face. 

 

“ What was that.” Raph said, “ Can't hear ya?”  Somehow nothing felt more important than hearing her finish that sentence. Perhaps it was just his growing need to hear her voice directed at just him, after she’d spent the whole day avoiding him. He was being stupid he realized, glowing for attention, like Mikey, wanting a few minutes of her time just for himself, frustrated that it was so hard to get without egging her on first. Some how in the past, outside the lair, it had seemed easier. Maybe it was the lack of distraction. The lesser stakes. 

 

“ I said turrrn on next,” she said angling her focus back to the TV and the flashing Netflix images. 

 

“ No b’fore that?” 

 

Awkward silence sat in the air between them, still and indifferent. Frustration building, Raph considered getting up, and giving up. More awkward silence, tense and and indifferent, the air about them...about her smelling stale...almost fearful... As if he’d backed her into a corner with no escape, it was the smell of a human debating whether to fight or to flee. And sitting this close, their forms almost touching, he sensed her hours of fleeing were over, and if he didn't say something soon she would resort to fighting...again. He was still sore from the last punch she’d landed. 

 

He took the plunge. 

 

“ Aye if ya mad at me about something just say it. Cause I don't do to well with this awkward silence stuff.” 

 

Gaze still set on the TV she said, “ I not mad.” 

 

“ Bullshit,” Raph barked, the words coming out harsher than he intended them to. “ Then why yer been avoiding me. And earlier yer hit me for no damn reason.” 

 

He waited for an answer, when he got none he sighed and reached for the remote, intending to turn on the next episode like she originally wanted. Ready to give up. Surprised at himself for the fast retreat. Any other time...with anyone else he would have pushed...argued some more...he would not have been so damn soft. 

 

_ The fuck is wrong with me... _

 

Fuck he really wanted to punch something. 

 

“ You not fault,” she said abruptly. “  You only prrrotecting what is prrrecious to you. You only do what naturrral. I did not accept. I do now, ” She looked down fingers tapping against her thighs. “  Zerrre. I said. Now stop starrring like sheep. You underrrstad?”

 

He thought for a long moment. Realization hitting him after a few seconds. He smirked despite his best attempts to hide it, shaking his head. 

 

“ Vat?” Iris demanded. 

 

“ So what ya saying it, yer was jealous.” He took a sip of his crush, looking at her through one eye over the can. 

 

She looked up at him finally,  unblinking, head cocked to the side. He could see her mind working over the words, taking them in, piecing them all together. He’d meant it as half a joke, expecting her to get flustered and try and hit him again as she denied it, if nothing else a little angry. She nodded determinedly, face set. 

 

He nearly choked. “ What?” 

 

“ April prrrecious to you. Must prrrotect, I underrrrstand.” She said. “ You lo--”

 

“ Wait. Now hold on a second,” Raph interjected. “ Before you finish that sentence---” 

 

“ Vhat do you not?”

 

She was closer to him now, hands on the pizza box cushions as she leaned forward searching his face for answers, her eyes wide, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

 

_Those goddamn eyes...the fuck...?_

 

She obviously had it all wrong. Him and April. Impossible. Improbable. On one hand, gross. 

 

“ Idiot,” he said shaking his head. April was their hogosha. Practically family after everything they’d been through together. She literally owned them when they were baby turtles. He would be lying if he said he hadn't thought about it, April was, at least for a human very attractive, hot even. But there was a clear, unspoken and obvious line, and none of them, with the exception of Mikey’s annoying flirting, were to ever cross it. 

 

“ April’s the last person yer should be jealous of.” The words came out faster than he could stop them, and he abruptly turned his attention to playing the next episode like she wanted him to. He coughed, trying in vain to cover up his crackling, stuttering voice,  “ Don’t be a nitwit.” 

 

“ Do not call me this, sheep.” she hissed back snatching the remote off his lap. He waited for the hit that would probably come after, the blow never landing as she struggled with the remote settings. He took the remote from her, fingers brushing her metal ones as he struggled for half a second to get her to release her grip. 

 

“ Says the person with food on her face,” Raph said hitting the play button. The episode’s theme song played in the background, the sickeningly sad music seeming to drag on and on as Iris wiped fruitlessly at her face. Raph tried not to chuckle or smirk, and failing finding the veil of insecurity and awkwardness he’d felt earlier lifting. Not completely gone, but better. 

 

“ Ver?’ She looked up at him hopelessly, large eyes wide, looking as hopeless as Mikey when the last slice of pizza was finally gone. 

 

“ Right there idiot,” he said affectionately, pointing again to the spot. 

 

She cursed in Russian, swiping yet still missing. Looking more childish than he knew she intended to. 

 

“ I got it,” Raph said pressing his thumb against her chin before he could think to do anything different. Realizing the moment the calloused pad of his thumb touched the raised skin of a scar on her chin that he should have gotten a napkin, or better directed her own hand to the spot. 

 

_ Stupid… _

 

He wasn't thinking. So caught up the barrier lifting. He never thought things through. The action had seemed so normal...almost instinctual.  And now she was staring at him with those deer eyes, looking like some kind of confused prey, probably wondering why he was touching her. 

 

She parted her lips, her bottom lip catching on his thump. Soft. Warm. Full. Light brown skin against green scales. For a moment, just a fleeting moment, he wondered how her lips would feel against his own, how they would taste.

 

She leaned forward, instead of backwards, to his surprise, fingers gently clasping around his wrist. Eyes closed.  The metal warm against his scales. 

 

“ Is gone?” She asked, still leaning forward, pressing her warm cheek into his palm. Was human skin supposed to be as soft as it looked on their faces? No wondered they scarred so easily. Hair brushed against his knuckles, and he flinched surprised by how strange it felt, causing her to draw back and open her eyes. He choked back a curse. 

“ Ah. Yeah.” 

 

_ Are you in love with her my son?  _

 

He swiped down quickly, releasing her lower lip and swiping the food stain from her chin, balling his hand into a fist as she lowered it to his lap, frowning, his face burning, refusing to look straight at her. Beside him she rubbed the spot on her lips where he’d touched with her fingertips. 

 

_ Rubbin off my touch... _ he thought bitterly, reminding himself how stupid the action was.  _ No human wants a giant turtle touchin em. Even if that human is Iris.  _ _ The fuck was I thinkn? _  Still the scales of his palm, and back of his hand tingled from where they'd made contact with her skin and hair.  __

 

“ Yer worst than Mikey,” Raph added feigning annoyance. 

 

_ Love?  _

 

He wouldn’t know where to start with such a soft, mushy useless, emotion. Especially not for Iris. Love? Like the kind in the TV shows Master Splinter liked to watch? Holding hands, googly eyes, soft spoken words...fuck that. 

 

Still he had had a moment there, where he'd wondered...wanted...

 

He swallowed it down. Chopped it up to a momentary lapse in judgement, his animal instinct when confronted with a vulnerable member of the opposite sex. Textbook, science stuff that Donnie would probably be more than happy to explain later. If Raph ever told him. Which he surely wouldn't. 

 

The show playing in the background, Raph settled into a comfortable position on the couch beside her, trying not to sneak look at Iris between bites of food, who’d taken to staring at the screen, almost unblinking, still rubbing her lips. Ten minutes past in which he was successful in not looking at her, his gaze drawn only when he heard her softly snoring. 

 

_ Is she sleeping... _ He poked her gently with one large finger. “ Aye,” he called. “ You sleeping?” 

She fell to the side, collapsing all her weight against his arm, blinking sleepily a few seconds later.. He stiffened involuntarily, not expecting the sudden touch of heat, or the softness of her form against his hard bicep. 

 

“ Aye what ya---” 

 

“ Niet,” she sighed breath warm against his scales, sending a shiver running down his spine.  “Just rrresting  eyes,” she said closing her eyes again.“ Don't be stupid she---” 

 

She drifted off again, head looking to the side. 

 

“ Yeah?” Raph said into the air, leaning back and forcing himself to relax against the couch, trying not to move to much when Iris shifted closer to him, afraid of waking her. 

 

Love? 

 

Yeah, he definitely wouldn't know where to start with such useless bullshit. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Rewrite of my first TMNT fic. Got stuck on the first one. Didn't like it. Hopefully this one is a little better. 
> 
> Kudos and Reviews welcome!


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